You're WHAT?
by Rogue-Demon
Summary: PART 4. Angel has to tell Remy she's pregnant while the other X-Men voice their opinions. Tara's trying to stop a wedding...her own! Natasha's 'habits' and Nanaki complicate things.Can the guys cut these new developments? FINISHED
1. Shut up, Tasha

_Disclaimer: I own nothing of the X-Men except a deck of cards that doesn't go below nine. I wouldn't advise sueing since I never have money; I ain't even got a job, imagine that. Unrecognizable characters belong to one of the following people: myself, Takamo, or another friend (she knows who she is and her name changes entirely too much to keep it straight)._   
  
**Chapter One: Shut up, Tasha**  
  
Natasha Creed closed the door to her shared apartment and instantly knew something was wrong. Papers and permanent marker drawn on binders littered the counter along with leftover fast food bags and several glasses or empty bottles.  
  
"Tara! Angel!" she called, pushing aside the heap of bags and walking into the living room after hanging her keyes. Her hook gave a groan but told her that Angel was home from the other set with three keys and about twenty keychains on one hook.  
  
Tara was still at work. The classes in Psychology that she taught often didn't end until around four; it was only about two-thirty. That meant her other room mate was the only one home.  
  
"Angel, where are you...?"  
  
"Bathroom," came the muffled reply through the closed door. The sound of retching met her when she knocked.  
  
Natasha cringed. Hangovers sucked.  
  
"How much did you drink last night, Angel?"  
  
"Nothing; I got sick every time I tried to drink," Angel answered upon opening the door. Her face was pale and her eyes held dark circles under them; her hair was pulled back but she still looked sick. "Maybe I've grown an immunity, or something, to alcohol?"  
  
"It's doesn't work that way, Demon. Here's a tough question- when was your last visit from T.O.M?"  
  
"Uh..." She frowned and clsed her eyes, mumbling numbers. She shrugged after a moment. "Six weeks ago. Why?"  
  
"Maybe you're pregnant," Natasha suggested, smirking at the thought alone.  
  
Angel paled, visibly. "Shut up, Tasha."  
  
"Six weeks, Angel."  
  
She made a gagging sound then retreated into the bathroom, beginning to throw up. She didn't move off her knees or lift her head from her hands once she was through.  
  
"Pregnant."  
  
"Shut up, Tasha."  
  
"You could be."  
  
"Shut up, Tasha. I'm ignoring you."  
  
"You're pregnant."  
  
"Shut up, Tasha."  
  
"Don't lie to yourself. How you gonna break the news?"  
  
"I ain't pregnant."  
  
"Thought you were ignoring me...?"  
  
"Shut up, Tasha."  
  
"The tests aren't that hard, Angel. You can know within the day."  
  
"Shut up, Tasha."  
  
Natasha rolled eyes at the five-year-old sounding arguement then walked into the living room, flicking on the television screen. She sat down and began to channel surf, watching for a few moments before changing it again.  
  
"Just put it on cartoons and leave it. Smurfs is on," Angel announced upon her second exit; she didn't look any better. She laid down on the couch and buried her head under a pillow. "Is Jax coming over later?"  
  
"Uh-huh." She flipped the tv onto an episode of Smurfs as the theme song began to wind down.  
  
"Don't tell him what you think. I'll...get a test," she said, miserably, from the the comfort of her pillow.  
  
"Thought you weren't pregnant?"  
  
"Shut up, Tasha."

* * *

Tara Toynbee's attention automatically caught on her silent, tense friends. The only noise beside her keys on the table was the ending credits to an episode of Scooby-Doo; the ending music was fading out.  
  
"I'm home. Nice to see someone bothered to find us food," she said, depositing several bags of take-out onto the table then walking into the living room and clicking on the light. The television cut off.  
  
"Tara!"  
  
"Sorry," she mumbled, flicking the light off and putting on the tv in it's place. "This place needs help."  
  
"Angel's pregnant." Natasha's announcement threw her for a moment.  
  
"Shut up, Tasha. We don't know that yet."  
  
"You're pregnant, Angel?" Tara asked then made her way over to sit on the coffee table in front of her. She pulled the pillow away from Angel's face. "Is it Julius'?"  
  
"If I am, it has to be...it's not a positive yes or no yet."  
  
"Angel, you need to find out. Julius deserves to know he if he'll be a father within the next seven and a half months," Natasha pointed out after clicking off the tv and flicking on the light. She slammed her eyes shut at the brightness. "How are you going to tell Julius?"  
  
"Julius? How'm I going to tell Remy?" Angel was quiet a few moments then buried her head in her arms and screamed, loud and drawn out.  
  
"Remy's the father...?"  
  
"Shut up, Tasha!"  
  
Tara placed a comforting arm around her shoulders and hugged her, repeating a gesture that she'd used since they were kids. She rubed one hand across Angel's back in an attempt to stop her crying and incoherent mumblings.  
  
Natasha broken their rsilence by beginning to rummage through the sacks that had come in with Tara. "Ooh, Chinese food!" she exclaimed, pulling out a container and some star shaped things.  
  
There was a gagging sound then Angel shot off the couch and into the bathroom, slamming the door with a solid sound. It couldn't cover the sounds of her retching and gagging.  
  
"Nice job, Tasha. Hand me the phone," Tara said after choosing her own food from the sacks and taking up a seat at the cluttered table. She pushed aside stuff then dialed a number, beginning to eat while waiting for a pick-up.  
  
"Yes, Tara?" came the pleasant enough reply except for the underlying annoyance.  
  
"How'd you know it was me, Nanaki?"  
  
"The Jean Grey-Summers caller ID. What's wrong?" Nanaki's voice softened then there was yelling in the background. "Hold a minute...Santiago, leave you father alone."  
  
Tara knew from the tone of voice that her nephew wasn't listneing. It had floored her and Angel the first time they'd learned Nanaki and Toad had _a seven-year-old son_ that she didn't know. Toad had later explained his and Nanaki's first meeting and how they'd split up, leaving her with Santiago; he hadn't known about their son when he'd taken off. Tara still wasn't used to the kid, though he was now eleven.  
  
"Nanaki, can you come over? We kind of need you to pick up something..." She ate some of her food while waiting for a response.  
  
"What do you need? Maybe your brother can bring it or Remy...he's here."  
  
"No! I mean, you should be the one to pick this up." She waited out the silence then continued. "We need a pregnancy test, Nanaki," she finished just as Angel exited the bathroom.  
  
"No way. Don't you dare tell Nanaki! She'll kill me!" Angel exclaimed, falling into one of the avaliable kitchen chairs and looking through the food there. She gave up after a moment and played with some form of rice, attempting and failing to eat, while waiting for the next part of the one-sided conversation.  
  
"Is it Tasha?" Nanaki asked.  
  
Tara laughed. Nanaki always chose her cousin as the guilty part, knowing the girl was her own worst empty.  
  
_I won't tell unless she figures it out, Angel.  
  
Thanks..._  
  
"You?" Nanaki asked in an unbelieving voice.  
  
"Landon and I haven't slept together."  
  
The other end was silent then she said, "Give Angel the phone."  
  
Angel's face turned pale when she held out the phone. She shook her head and they held a small phone shoving match until Angel finally placed it against her ear, taking a breathe.  
  
"Hi, Nanaki," she said with forced cheerfullness. Her smile dropped after a moment of listening.  
  
Natasha cringed. "It's one of the safe sex lectures. Nanaki coming over...?"  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
Why couldn't it have been Tasha? She's had more practice then me and Angel combined. Nanaki wouldn't be nearly as hard with her since she plays 'Scrabble' almost every night.  
  
Angel's voice interrupted Tara's thoughts and Natasha's next question. "I know, Nanaki. Okay...I'll see you in a few hours. Bye," she mumbled then hung up the phone. "Nanaki's coming."  
  
"I think Jax and I will go play Scrabble at his place tonight. We will have a yes or no by morning, Angel?"  
  
"...Yes..."  
  
"I'll cancel going out with Landon tonight..."  
  
Angel shook her head, managing to get a bit of rice down. "You can go 'cause Nanaki won't kill me. She loves me. And I think Landon has something to talk to you about." Her smirk came into place across her face.  
  
"You sure, I mean, after this **stunt**?" Tara asked without looking away from getting their table clear of junk and uneaten food. She ignored the second part, knowing it would be useless to question Angel since it would be like talking to David on a sugar high, Rogue before coffee, or Remy without cards.  
  
"Positive."  
  
"I thought you weren't pregnant?"  
  
"Shut up, Tasha." 


	2. Too Many Yeses, Not Enough Nos

_Disclaimer: I don't own. I have a low amount of money since the windshield accident. I wouldn't recommend sueing. Tara and the currently unpresent Nanaki are property of Takamo while Julius and the currently unpresent Natasha belong to another friend, Fallen Angel Hell's Gate(until she changes it again). I own all others that are unrecognizable._

* * *

**Chapter Two: Too Many Yeses, Not Enough Nos**  
  
"How hard is it to practice safe sex, Angel Elizabeth Blade-Lebeau? It can't be that hard since I'm sure your little boyfriend isn't ready to have a kid. Speaking of which, where is Kanteon?" Nanaki asked, pacing the length of their living room. She stopped for a moment to glare at the object of her questions and also anger.  
  
Angel frowned. "...Canada..."  
  
"Canada? You're pregnant and he's **IN CANADA?!**"  
  
"It's a _possibility_, Nanaki. I didn't even have a guess that I could be until this morning when Natasha mentioned it...please don't kill Julius."   
  
Nanaki stopped pacing and shook her head, chuckling. "I'm the least of your problems, Angel. Think about what Remy, Rogue, or even Logan are going to do if you are," she offered, feeling slightly guilty when Angel began to cry. She walked into the kitchen then returned with a box of tissues. "Crying isn't going to solve anything. Stop crying."  
  
"Remy's gonna kill 'im," she said, but her tears gradually stopped and she wiped at both her eyes then used another tissue to below her nose. She hugged her pillow again. "I don't want 'im to die, Nanaki."  
  
"When will you have an answer?"  
  
"I should know by the time Tasha and Tara get home. Will you still be here?" she asked without looking away from playing with her pillow. She hugged it tighter and stared at the blank tv for a moment, frowning.  
  
"Mort's watching Santiago so yes, I will be here. Would you prefer if I wasn't present...?"  
  
Angel shook her head. "Better you then Rogue or Remy. They're gonna kill me _or_ Julius one...maybe both."  
  
Rogue and Remy had raised her since five when she was abandoned on the X-Men's doorstep with Tara and a message from her parents, a message to wait. She'd taken an immediate liking to Remy; she'd liked him even more after he let her out of the freezer and given her something called Gumbo. It had been gross when she was a kid but now was one of the few things Remy made that she would eat. Rogue and Remy considered her to be _their kid_ but that made it worse.   
  
No one, parents or not, wanted to hear that the five-year-old that used to steal their shoes and hide under the bed, or that the fifteen-year-old that played an off-key trumpet and argued in Spanish against French for fun, was now twenty-three-years-old and pregnant. Husband absent, father of the baby currently in Canada.  
  
"Angel."  
  
The sharply spoken way of the name drew her thoughts away from thinking about her so-called parents. "What...?"  
  
"How are you going to tell Julius?" Nanaki came over and sat down beside her with the expression of someone that was concerned. Most of her anger had vanished within the few silent moments. "I don't think you can call Canada cheap..."  
  
She was silent a moment then sighed. "He'll be back in three days. It was part of his current job to go there," she explained, twisting the ends of the pillow before chunking it across the room and knocking over something. She scowled. "I hate 'im."  
  
"No, you don't. I'll make you something that's not fast food, we'll eat, and you can talk to me about anything you want...." Her words trailed off at Angel's sick look then quick bolt into the bathroom followed by retching.   
  
"Are there nine months of this? I threw up something green and the last thing I ate was a few bites of Chinese food. Does that always happen?" Angel asked upon her exit, curling up in one of the chairs and pulling a blanket over her head. She stared at the backwards pattern but didn't remove her blanket.  
  
"Morning sickness goes away after the first few months; about the fourth month you start to swell up like a balloon. I can't vouche for the green thing..."  
  
"I hate Julius."  
  
Nanaki gave up commenting and returned to the stove. "You do know that Remy's going to charge Julius and send him back to Canada in a wooden box, right?"  
  
"Nanaki!"  
  
_Luigi's Pasta House (fake resteraunt)_  
  
"What do you want to eat, Tara?"   
  
Tara blinked and realized for the first time that she'd been staring at the menu, without seeing any of its choices, for the last five minutes. "Uh...spaghetti and meatballs with uh, that bread stuff is fine," she mumbled, quickly, sweeping the menu once then putting it down. She avoided looking at her dinner partner after the waiter was gone with their food.  
  
"Tara, what's wrong for real?" Landon asked, taking one of her hands in his and holding it. He studied her as if trying to find some hidden meaning in her face.  
  
She shook her head, forcing a smile into place. "I'm fine. My classes at the university just make me tired, but I'm fine." She smiled and began to play with the salt shaker, pulling out packets and pouring them onto a spoon. She mixed some pepper in, stirring it around with her knife.  
  
"Stop playing with the salt and pepper. I want to have your full attention, but I don't think I'm getting it. There's something bothering you; what is it?"  
  
Tara shook her head then poured the mixture under the table around their feet. "Angel made a strange comment. Maybe you could help me with it...?" she asked, changing subjects and pulling her hand away to cross her arms, defensively.  
  
"Maybe. What was her comment?"  
  
"She said that you wanted to talk to me about something. I was just curious about what it was..." She trailed off in an attempt to get him to finish the sentence and explain things.  
  
Landon choked on the drink of soda he'd just taken, barely avoiding making a water fountain across the resteraunt. "It's nothing. Everyone knows Angel's crazy, Tara. I have no clue what she could have thought up that I'd have to tell you," he attempted to brush it off, but there was something dishonest in the way he met her gaze and held it. She could read something undescribable there. "Oh, look, our waiter."  
  
Tara sighed, scowling down at the basket of condiments that was between them.  
  
The waiter set down their food, spaghetti with meatballs and bread, arranging it in some cute design that was more disturbing then anything. He retreated upon refilling their glasses, checking around eight times if they needed anything; he gave up when it became apparant he was being ignored.  
  
"I hate annoying waiters." Landon began to eat, saying nothing else through their meal.   
  
"I think you hate everyone or at least claim to," Tara pointed out, eating more of her spaghetti and bread. She ate at a slow pace to give him time to say anything he wanted to.  
  
He said nothing.  
  
They finished dinner in silence except comments about how good the food was or talking about doing something afterwards. She vetoed the option, making up the lie that she had a headache. She didn't feel like sitting through any more useless, empty conversations.  
  
"Did I do something wrong, Tara...?"  
  
"No. I just have a headache," she lied, playing with her straw before taking another drink.  
  
Landon sat there a moment then held out one of his hands to her, holding the other under the table. "Give me your hand, Tara," he said, waiting for her to give him her hand before bringing out his other hand. Something was held in it from the curled way he had it resting. "I know I'm not in the right line of work or even a first rate choice but...will you marry me Tara?"  
  
He held out the box and opened it, showing her the gold ring band with it's small jewel.  
  
Tara gaped a moment then stared, trying to focus on an answer. "I think I have to ask Logan's permission first," she said, quietly but without looking away from him.  
  
He laughed, shaking his head and slipping the ring onto her finger. "You can ask him later. What's your decision?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Landon stared at her as if confused then smiled. "Good, now let's go before our waiter returns," he said, jotting a note on a napkin and putting it under one of the plates. He caught her hand and pulled her outside before she could see what it said. "It was just a tip," he passed off when she questioned their abrupt leave and the written on napkin.   
  
Her expression turned amused but also disapproving. "What does this one say, Landon...?"  
  
" _Next time do a better job_. The guy had it coming..."  
  
"Landon!"  
  
He smiled then kissed her to cut off any further speech. She gave up on trying to talk to him and instead kissed him back, leaning up, slightly, to wrap her arms around his neck.  
  
Logan would not be pleased to find out the five-year-old that used to cut up his magazines and memorize his curse words for later uses, or the fifteen-year-old that banged on drums and brought her seventeen-year-old boyfriend home to have dinner with her family, was engaged to be married. Her new fiancee also worked for one of the 'bad guys' that spelled his name wrong until a few years ago and spent long periods of time in other countries or states, breaking laws or finding loop holes.  
  
"You're thinking too hard."  
  
Tara sighed. "I was trying to place Logan's reaction when I tell him that you asked me to marry you. He's going to kill you..."  
  
"Hello, Australia."  
  
"Landon!"

* * *

_The Apartment (later that night)_  
  
"Nanaki? Angel?"  
  
Angel looked away from the tv at her best friend's interest. "Hey, Tara. How was your date?" she asked, knowing Landon had intended to propse to her that day. She'd read his mind because he'd looked like someone going to the gallows; the poor guy probably thought she'd say no.  
  
"Interesting. You can come in, Landon...it's just Angel and Nanaki," Tara said before coming in completely but leaving the door open.  
  
_You're letting him stay when I could be preggers with one of his best friend's kid?! You're crazy.  
  
Calm down. He won't stay long and we'll just not mention it  
  
Tasha better not come home until he's gone.  
_  
Nanaki's voice came from one of the bedrooms. "Is that Tara and Landon? I can hear them from a mile away."  
  
"You're **not** a mile away, Nanaki."  
  
She came out of the room, smiling and holding a book. "I never knew Natasha read books. I thought she stopped reading beyond magazines and Self-Help books. Hi, Landon, Tara.."  
  
"Hello, Nanaki." Tara frowned, looking at her friend. Something was obviously wrong from the many stupid comments she was making and the fact that she hadn't thrown something at Landon yet. "Are you planning to go home tonight?"  
  
"I don't think so. Why go home when I can stay with my girls...?"  
  
That was even weirder. Nanaki usually referred to them by their names or called them 'those two/three', depending on how many of them were present. Her expression was even worse since it looked much too bright and vibrant for her.  
  
"Uh-huh. Ohh! What a pretty ring, Tara." Angel picked up her hand to study the ring, but her smirk was evidence enough.  
  
"You knew," Tara accused but with no real conviction. She shrugged, helplessly, at Landon's questioning look. "I tell her to stay out of your mind and she tunes me out."  
  
There was a gasp from Nanaki then she threw her arms around both Tara and Landon, hugging them. "I'm so proud of you both!"  
  
In the next instant, her eyes turned red as she pulled away and began to laugh. "It'll never work."  
  
"Go away, Celesta." _(check bottom for note on this)_  
  
Celesta continued to laugh a moment then was gone.   
  
"Is she drunk?" Landon asked, tightening the arm he'd kept around Tara.   
  
She nodded then turned back toward the door. "Yeah, oddly enough. I think you need to go; I'll see you tomorrow. Night, Landon." Tara leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before shutting the door and then turning back to the remaining two in the room. "What happened to Nanaki? I thought she was unable to get drunk...?"  
  
Angel sighed. "She isn't. I think she's faking to make everything seem like a weird dream or the product of a hangar; neither of which she'll get," she explained with a shrug before walking back toward the bathroom.  
  
_What did I do to deserve this...?  
_  
"I think you're just lucky. What's a plus sign mean, Tara...?" she asked upon coming back into the room, holding what must have been the pregnancy test.  
  
Her mouth dropped open with another look at Nanaki who was again drinking. "I think I figured out what's wrong with Nanaki..."  
  
"Really? What?"  
  
"You're pregnant, Angel."  
  
"I hate Julius."  
  
"Ditto."  
  
"I second the thought."  
  
"I'll call Remy tomorrow..."

* * *

_Note:  
  
Nanaki has a split personality-Celesta-from when she was younger. Her other personality is rather violent and in many opinions evil; she shows up sometimes but not very often. Celesta's eyes are red or Nanaki's turn red instead of their normal green. Now you know...Celesta._


	3. Wedding Announcements and Shouting, Lots...

**Chapter Three: Wedding Announcements and Shouting, Lots of Shouting  
**  
_The X-Mansion's Front Hall_  
  
"We weren't expecting y'all to come to dinner for another few nights. Did y'all get sick of fast food so soon?" Rogue asked with a smile to their new dinner guests. She returned the hug Angel gave her, being careful not to touch her, then moved on to hug Tara.  
  
"Actually...we have another reason." Tara held out her hand to the X-woman, allowing her to see the small jewel set into the ring. It caught under the light and glittered slightly while her other hand remained in Landon's.  
  
"Finally!" Jean ran down the stairs and wrapped her arms around Tara in a hug, studying her hand. "Oh, it's beautiful, Tara. You'll make a lovely bride!" she gushed, repeatedly.  
  
Landon looked uncomfortable.  
  
"Rogue, when will dinner be ready? I'm hungry." Angel rested one arm against her stomache with her hand over her ribs. She didn't look that sick or like she'd almost stopped sleeping completely; her attention was fully on whatever Rogue was saying. "Where's Remy?"  
  
"He and Storm had a mission of some sort, sugah. Ah think he'll be home before y'all leave..."  
  
"Good."  
  
Tara frowned at her friend, knowing she wasn't planning to make the announcement until both her guardians were present. She wished they could have come to dinner under better conditions then a wedding and pregnancy announcment. She tightened her hand around Landon's hand until she felt the slight return of pressure, signalling that she had squeezed much too tight.  
  
"Tara, if you squeeze any tighter you'll break my hand," he said before taking his hand from hers. He offered his least harming smile when he noticed himself being watched carefully.   
  
"I'm sorry. Where's Logan at, Rogue?"   
  
"He had to pick something up. I doubt he'll be gone very long..."  
  
"I have an announcement to make and I want him to be here..."  
  
_X-Mansion's Dining Hall (during dinner)_  
  
"Jean, get that kid to put that thing up before I turn it into a mesh of wires," Logan commanded, glowering at the Game Boy engrossed thirteen-year-old and his partner. His attention settled on Nanaki. "Make your kid behave, too."  
  
He almost laughed when Nanaki simply smacked Santiago in the back of the head. He'd grown used to having his enemy's neice and grandson living at the mansion, but the girl was good with her own kid, better then the Summers' with their demon child.  
  
"David, put the game boy up." Scott waited for his order to be obeyed; it never was.  
  
"I have to beat Santiago's score, Dad! He finally got higher then me on Tetris," David complained, pushing his almost full plate away and becoming intent upon his game. He pressed buttons repeatedly.  
  
"I've been higher then you since I was seven."  
  
"Santiago!"  
  
"Sorry, Mom."  
  
"Stop playin' with ya food, swamp rat." Rogue's voice was one of the loudest and the smack she gave her husband's hand was audible as well. She'd toned down her violence to smacks on the hand rather then against his head; she'd even learned to deal with his 'habits'. "We have guests."  
  
"Aunt Angel and Aunt Tara ain't guests."  
  
"Shut up and eat your chicken." Scott's order.  
  
"Uh, I have something that I need to say," Tara started off, dropping her fork and standing with one hand resting against the table top. It was, obviously, shaking; a bad sign since not much got her on edge. "It's uh, about me and Landon."  
  
Logan's expression turned grim. He'd been expecting the announcement since he'd overheard Angel and Natasha talking earlier that month. He'd have to play off sympathetic since she thought she loved him.  
  
"What is it, kid?" he asked without standing. The others followed his example and didn't get up.   
  
"I, uh....Landon and I are getting marired." She blurted the words out then met his eyes, watching for the first emotion that would cross his face.  
  
"You are not marrying him!"  
  
"The hell I'm not! I already got the ring!" Tara held out her hand and he noticed the jewel with it's gold band that shimmered in the light. The others clapped for either their choice of language or the announcement; Logan wasn't sure. "I was going to ask your permission..."  
  
"Would you have listened to my answer?" he asked, standing and facing the stubborn woman that had grown from the fearful child he'd adopted. He scowled at her future husband.   
  
She shrugged, squirming slightly. "If it fit with my answer, yes. Otherwise, no."   
  
The Tetris theme music filled the room over voices. It was much too loud for just two gray Game Boys that were being played by pre-teens. The songs were at different tempos and sounded like two people fiddling with a radio on different stations.  
  
"Why don't you two go ask Bobby to help you play?" Jean asked, pulling both their chairs back and waiting for them to stand. Her voice allowed no time for arguement.   
  
"Does it have to be him?" Logan asked, addressing the man beside her as him instead of by using his name.  
  
He wanted to see the kid happy but not with a member of one of their oldest enemies' new team. Landon was probably the best of Apocalypse's new team of idiots but he still wasn't a first-rate choice for the kid.  
  
"Logan!" The shout came from several different people who were looking at him in mock or sincere anger; he wasn't sure which. Rogue's expression was amused.  
  
"It's okay, sugah. Ah'm sure ya invited to the weddin'," she said, giving Tara a smile as she sat back down, stirring her food around. Her head didn't lift from staring at her plate.  
  
"Okay, kid, you can marry him." He had barely gotten the words out before she was up and around the table to hug. He returned one of the hugs that he'd grown used to recieving from Tara since she'd found his alcohol stash and gotten drunk at five. "Hey, it could be worse! You could be pregnant."  
  
He noticed that Angel visibily paled and had a sudden feeling of dread. There'd been something odd about her when they'd arrived, but he hadn't bothered to analyze it until then. Something was wrong with her especially since she now seemed worried and was eating even less.  
  
"Pregnant? Tadpole's pregnant?" Toad looked rather alarmed but slightly happy at the news.  
  
Nanaki sighed. "He said she could be, not that she was, Mort."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Congradulations, Tara. I'm sure you two will be happy," Jean said with a quick pat on the top of her head. Tara cringed away.   
  
Angel was the next to speak. "Rogue, remy, can I see you guys in the professor's study after dinner? I kind of need to talk to you both..."  
  
"Of course, hon."  
  
"Remy be done, mon ange."   
  
"I was afraid of that..."  
  
_Outside the Professor's Study_   
  
Bobby Drake crouched outside the door with one eye pressed into the crack left by the slightly open door. He swept the room, taking in Rogue and Remy sitting together on the couch, holding hands, after Angel's request. The latter was pacing in front of them but stopping every few moments to sit on the desk, frowning.  
  
"I want you both to promise you won't freak out. I kind of have an annoucement, too. It's different from Tara's," Angel started out, stopping to bite down on her bottom lip, hard. It was a nervous gesture that she'd picked up a few years back; a sign of something wrong. "I wouldn't exactly call it a celebration."  
  
"_Mon ange_, y'can tell Remy anyt'ing." Remy started to stand but sat when she shook her head, walking further away from him.  
  
"This isn't like when I wanted to play the trumpet or bleach my hair to dye it green...." There was silence for a moment then she blurted out her announcement, speaking so rapidly that it wasn't quite clear the first time. "I'mpregnantandJuliusisn'theretotalkto."  
  
Rogue was up in an instant. "What did you say?" she asked, catching hold of her shoulders.  
  
"I...I'm...I'm pregnant, Rogue."   
  
"Ya be what, _mon ange_?!"  
  
_She's pregnant. Angel's pregnant. I have to let the others know that David won the bet..._ Bobby walked backwards slowly until he reached the stairs then bolted up them, yelling for his friends.   
  
"Jubilee, Hank, David!" He ran through the halls, banging on the doors until his buddies and the others were assembled in the hallways. Several were glaring at him or looked ready to kill him. "It's official. David's won the bet."  
  
Jubilee just frowned at him, rubbing at her short hair with the towel she held over her head. "Which bet?"  
  
"The baby bet."  
  
"Oh no, this is terrible. Terrible, terrible, terrible. I have to give away my twinkies and I can't buy another box until tomorrow. What have I done to deserve this curse?" Hank walked off, mumbling and muttering to himself.  
  
"**Baby bet**? What are you talking about?" Storm asked, studying their fuzzy blue docotr before turning her attention to the guilty parties- Bobby, Jubilee, David, and Santiago.  
  
"We were betting on who would be the first to have a baby," David said, looking only a little guilty. He continued without looking at either of his parents. "I picked Aunt Angel. Bobby picked Aunt Tara. Jubilee picked Nanaki would get pregnant again. Hank picked Natasha and Santiago picked..." He mumbled it.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"He picked that you and Dad and would give me a little brother or sister." There was a visible twitch to the boy. After a few moments of lecturing from his parents and tuning out Nanaki and Toad's lecture, both were dismissed and retreated to their rooms to play Game Boy.   
  
"Wait a minute.." Scott stood still a moment then his eyes widened and he looked shocked. "If David won the bet..."  
  
"Oh, the heavens! Angel's pregnant."  
  
_Inside the Professor's Study_  
  
"You're **WHAT**?!"  
  
Angel frowned, trying not to let her guardians know how much their reactions to her announcement meant. "I'm pregnanat, Rogue."  
  
"Juilus de father?" Remy stood and walked over to stand in front of her. She nodded like a robot, slow and measured. "Where de boy at?"  
  
"He's doin' somethin' for his boss. I'm sorry...I know it's not exactly a good announcement. I thought we were careful, butnowI'mpregnantandhedoesn'tknow," she said, beginning to speak rapdily. Her words began to slip out of English and into what little Spanish and French she knew.   
  
"Sugah, calm down." Rogue walked over and hugged her, giving Remy a look that had him being quite, though he kept charging and uncharging a card. The charge almost leapt from the card several times.  
  
The door to the office burst open and the others piled in except Nananki who lounged against the doorway, shaking her head.  
  
"You're what?!"  
  
"You're what?!"  
  
Remy scowled at the overly perky couple. "Mon ange be pregnant."  
  
"You're what?!"  
  
"You're what?!"  
  
"She's pregnant. Leave it at that," Nanaki said, drawing their attention to the doorway. She still looked symapthetic but behind her Bobby and Jubilee were more then a little guilty.  
  
_Bobby told everyone. I'm going to kill him._  
  
Jean spoke, quietly. "Angel, killing him won't help..."  
  
"It'll help me." Angel pulled herself free of Rogue's arm and bolted toward the door second before the two behind Nanaki took off down the hall. She shoved the others out of her way but stopped when she almost collided with Kurt a few doors down; she caught herself against the wall, feeling dizzy.  
  
"Vhat's vrong, Angel?" Kurt asked, stopping beside her. He studied her then went to move her hand from her stomache. She pulled away and closed her eyes, beginning to cry.  
  
"I want Rogue. Please get Rogue."   
  
Bobby appeared in the place of Kurt, looking down at her with real guilt. "I'm sorry, Angel. I didn't mean to tell everyone you were pregnant. It just kind of slipped out..."  
  
_At least he apologized this time. It makes a new first in my book...normally I have to apologize to him._   
  
She gave him a weak smile. "You're going to baby-sit this kid when it's born and I hope, I really hope, it's just like me."  
  
Bobby suddenly looked even more apolgetic. "Uh...Angel...that's a bad thing...to, uh...wish on a person..."  
  
_Apocalypse's Housing for his 'Henchmen'_  
  
"We are not playing unless we're safe." Natasha Creed set her bottled drink down and flipped the tv channel, stopping an some talk show. She watched it on mute for a few moments then flipped the channel.  
  
"Why not? Nothing's _100 percent_ safe, Tasha. What's changed this time?" Jax demanded, glaring at her from across the room where he was heating up a container of something.   
  
She sighed. "I don't want to end up like Angel."  
  
"Angel? What's ending up like Angel have to do with us playing Scrabble or not?"  
  
"Nothing. The only Scrabble you'll be playing tonight comes in a box and involves little white cubes with letters on them, Jax," she said, smiling sweetly before changing the channel several more times.  
  
"No, back up a setence. You said and I quote,_'I don't want to end up like_ _Angel'_. What's wrong with Angel?" He turned away from the microwave while behind him the knob continued to turn, slowly.   
  
She hesitated. She'd promised Angel, Tara, and Nanaki that she wouldn't mention the test's results or even her suspicions to Jax. It wasn't a suspicion anymore; he was also commanding and persuasive at the same time.

"I'm waiting."   
  
The microwave dinged. Jax opened it up and removed the container, pulling out a **rat** and dangling it over his mouth. He held there for a few moments as if debating then opened his mouth, dropping it in and sucking the tail in, too. He sunk his fangs into it with a smile.  
  
"Angel's pregnant."  
  
He gagged, spitting guts, blood, and clumps of fur onto the counter. He actually looked shocked at the mere thought of her pregnancy. He hadn't even noticed that his dead prey was all over the counter.  
  
"Julius is the father?"  
  
"Unless Angel's asexual."  
  
"What are the odds of that?"  
  
"Jax!"  
  
"Now I'm going to have nightmares about the little terror until I die. Thank you very much. That was a perfectly good rat wasted on your stupid announcement, Tasha," Jax hissed, wiping his mouth on his sleeve before wiping the rat remains into the garbage.  
  
"That's digusting. I don't care if you only do it twice a month; it's disgusting. It doesn't alarm you that those two are going to have a kid?" She clicked off the tv and stood.  
  
_Angel and Juilus are having a kid. The couple that throw spoons at each other and argue in different languages. Who understands anything when one argues in French and the other answers in Spanish? It was pointless and usually ended with both stalking off.  
_  
"Not really. Julius isn't a bad guy; Angel just brings out his worst."  
  
"What about Angel?"  
  
"I doubt that kid would screw her up that much more."  
  
"Jax!"  
  
Jax ate **another rat**.  
  
_X-Mansion's Gates (just beyond the front yard)  
_  
"Are things always that eventful here?"   
  
"Sometimes worse." Tara smiled, slightly, remembering the look on each of the X-Men's faces at the announcement of Angel's pregnancy. She'd never seen Rogue so quick unhesitant to touch someone or Bobby so freaked. Bobby hadn't left his room since she'd given him her 'threat'. "I'm sorry about Logan. I don't think he's figured that I'm no longer a smart ass seventeen-year-old determined to ruin what little patience he has..."  
  
"I think the guy has some issues to sort out. Does he always react that _violently_ to your decisions?"  
  
"Yep. I'm supposed to get his consent on everything especially anything that would change the course of my life. I'm also really sorry about Santiago. I didn't bring you over to spend three hours playing Nitendo."  
  
Landon shook his head. "It's better then watching your brother catch flies or Nanaki clean her knife collection or **my favorite**, listen to Logan's explanation of how he'll kill me," he said, though there was little humor in any part of his statement.  
  
Nanaki had cleaned her knife collection in front of him on several occassions while Mort caught flies by the dozen. It had been their first time together out of the Unreal World house. It almost made him want to end the relationship; they had split up for several months after the first time Logan threatened his life. They'd showed up at two a.m., semi-drunk and hardly understandable.  
  
"Sorry...I was raised by people who condone violence. Mort and Nanaki think nothing of throwing a knife at me or Santiago if we deserve it; more often at their son. Mort took it rather well, didn't he?"  
  
"He thought you were pregnant."  
  
"I never said he was the brightest crayon in th box **or** the sharpest tool in the shed. He has Nanaki for that."  
  
Landon looked worse if possible. "I'm actually more afraid of Nanaki then Celesta. Celesta normally has a reason or's just pissed off...Nanaki would make up a reason."  
  
Tara scowled. "Nanaki's just protective."  
  
"She's crazy, Tara."  
  
"Protective."  
  
"Crazy."  
  
"Protective."  
  
"Crazy."  
  
"Protective; now shut up and go home."  
  
"Crazy. Night, Tara."  
  
"Protective. Good-night, Landon."  
  
_Tara?_ Angel's voice quiet and held the plaintive tone that was often used with Remy or someone else she wanted to charm into thinking she was sweet, innocent, or both. It failed.   
  
_Yes, Angel?  
  
Remind me to kill Julius when he gets back from Canada.  
  
Killing him won't help anything except make you a single mother and your child fatherless.  
_  
_Fine. Remind me to let Remy kill him. We'll work on your wedding later. Rogue confinded me to stay the night here and I'm about to get rid of dinner._  
  
_I'll stay, too. Maybe I'll talk to Logan...later...yeah, a lot later._   
  
Tara walked back inside but stopped at one of the bedroom doors, knocking loudly on it. "You two have done quite enough spying today. Santiago, whatever's on your mind, don't even think about it. Do you want me to call Nanaki?" She waited for an answer then smiled when the light went out. There was a beep from the inside, signifying that the two had at least tricked her self-created alarm into believing they were asleep. "Good-night, David, Santiago."  
  
"Good-night, Aunt Tara!" 


	4. Juilus Homecoming

_**This disclaimer will appear every four chapters:**_  
  
_Disclaimer: I own nothing of the X-Men except a bunch of comics book- bought and paid for, mind you. I wouldn't advise sueing since I never have money; I ain't even got a job, imagine that. Unrecognizable characters belong to one of the following people: myself, Takamo, or another friend (she knows who she is and her name changes entirely too much to keep it straight)._   
  
**Chapter Four: Julius Homecoming**  
  
"I don't know how to plan a wedding, Angel. What am I supposed to do? I have no clue what to do and it's _MY WEDDING_."  
  
"Number one? Breathe," Natasha commanded without looking up from her magazine.  
  
Angel frowned, turning a page in the book of colors she was looking through then stirring her lunch without eating it. She hadn't touched the food that Rogue had brought over when she and Storm had come to help with the over-reacting Tara.  
  
"I'm getting married and have no clue what to do. Rogue, you have to help me. You've done this before, with Remy, and I'm new to this whole thing. Help me!" Tara said, sounding desperate as she stared at the many books.  
  
Rogue sighed. "Ya friend's right. Ya need to breathe, sugah."  
  
"Okay, breathing." Tara took several deep breathes, obviously remembering the meditation Hank had taught them when they were younger. It was around the time they recieved their mutations, something about tension, but they both still used it from time to time.  
  
"Good girl. What color do ya want your dress?" Rogue asked, coming around to stand behind her. She cast a quick look outside where Nanaki was giving a lecture to David and Santiago. Something about traffic and water hoses; no one dared question or even interrupt.  
  
"I don't want white 'cause I'm green...anyway, that's like a color for first weddings or something, right?"  
  
"Or something," Storm agreed before returning to her book of flowers.  
  
Angel rolled her eyes and tried to eat even a few bites of the gumbo Remy had sent. She managed to get down about half the bowl then gave an excuse, retreating first into the bathroom to brush her teeth then into the living room with a book of color possibilities; she lowered the tv so there was barely any sound then read through the book.  
  
"What's the difference in Blush and Bashful...or Passionate Pink?" she questioned after a few moments, looking up from the book to find Tara attemping more deep breathing excercises. "It doesn't seem like that big a deal."  
  
"Compare 'em. One's darker then the other or one's lighter. Trust me, there's a difference."  
  
"How would you know? Have you been married before, Storm?"  
  
Storm shook her head. "I just know how to tell the difference in paint."  
  
"Oh." Tara frowned then returned to her book. She pointed to random pages, mumbling something under her breathe that sounded vaguely familiar.  
  
Something like a car or a motorcycle stopping came from outside followed by the echo of Nanaki's voice. There was a second voice then a shout that sounded like David or Santiago.   
  
"What day is it?" Angel suddenly asked, lifting her head from the book.  
  
"Thursday. What's wrong, hon?"  
  
_Juilus. He's back._ Her hand automatically went to her stomache as if to comfort her baby. It remained there even after she'd stood and dumped her book onto the table.  
  
Natasha looked, grinning. "Baby mama drama. Where's your video camera, Tara? This is MTV stuff," she said, starting to get up.  
  
"Tasha!"   
  
"Hey, Rogue, Storm, Tara, Natasha. Angel, why are there so many people here?" Juilus asked after coming in and dropping his keys onto a nearby counter. He gave the books of colors, flowers, and dresses an odd look then crossed the room to stop just in front of her. "You look like you haven't slept in weeks."  
  
She shrugged, giving him a hug but turning her head to the side when he tried to kiss her. She noticed Nanaki had come inside with Santiago and David, trailing behind with Game Boys, again. She shook her head in a sign that they shouldn't say anything.  
  
"We need to talk, Juilus," Angel said, pushing away from him and putting distance between them. She frowned then looked at Nanaki for guidance; another nod and she made her announcement. "We're going to have a kid."  
  
"You adopted a kid while I was gone?" He looked shocked.  
  
"Julius!"  
  
"We're going to baby-sit the demon spawn again?"  
  
"I'm pregnant, Juilus," she mumbled then waited for his reaction, continuing to rest her hand against her stomache. She felt sick again but it wasn't from the baby.  
  
Juilus' expression changed into something between disbelief and confusion. "Is it mine?" he asked with a glance down at her stomache. She hadn't even started to show.  
  
"Julius!" This time it wasn't her, but everyone else present except Nanaki whose eyes had gone red and was smirking. Angel stared at him a minute then walked out of the room; her bedroom door, or someone else's, slammed shut after a few moments.  
  
"Very nice, baby daddy." Celesta smirked.   
  
Santiago just frowned at her a moment then shook his head. "Mom, you're getting weirder. Can David and I go play now?" he asked, giving his mother a look like she had turned into a snake or something.  
  
"I'm not your mother. Go play in traffic, you little monster."  
  
"Hey, Celesta."

* * *

_Two and a half hours later  
_  
"Angel, _baby_, open the door." Julius Kanteon kicked the wall across from him when something else hit the door and shattered. He'd been sitting outside the door trying to cajole her out of the bedroom with no result; the times he'd forced his way in had resulted in him getting thrown across the room or something similar. "I'm sorry. I didn't think, Angel..."  
  
She yelled something in muffled Spanish through the door. At least, he thought it was Spanish.  
  
"How far along are you, _baby_?" he asked, listening for the sound of something shattering against the door or the lock clicking. Neither came. "I'm sorry about before. You just suprised me. I didn't expect to come back from Canada and find out I'd fathered a child. How far along are you?"  
  
"Somewhere around six weeks. Is it yours now, Julius?" she asked through the door but, thankfully didn't throw anything else at it.   
  
_I'm never going to live down the is it mine crack. She's not going to kill me but she's going to make me regret it. Our poor kid's going to be a wreck._  
  
"Yeah, Angel. It's mine."  
  
There was no answer.  
  
"Angel? Baby? Angel..."  
  
"You're doing it wrong, Julius. Here's a thought, okay?" Nanaki reached out and knocked on the door, waiting a few minutes. "Angel, it's Nanaki. He's gone now."  
  
Julius scrambled to his feet seconds before the door opened. She came out, hugging the stuffed dog he'd given her about a month before; it was out of a vending machine for a quarter, but anyone else would think it was worth a million dollars. She slept with it and hugged it when she was upset.  
  
"You lied me. Nanaki lied to me."  
  
"It's not the first time, Angel. You and Julius need to talk," Nanaki said, giving her a smile. Her expressioin quickly turned into a frown. "And I have to go help the others keep Tara from hypervenilating."  
  
"Why's Tara hypervenilating?" Julius asked, looking confused before returning his attention to her.  
  
"She's getting married. Landon proposed, about time, too."  
  
He nodded. "Don't you have to go to a doctor or something for him to tell you your pregnant? I read that somewhere," he said, trying to think back to what he'd read from somewhere. It was a magazine that he'd found in Apocalypse's place about parenting; a scary thought when one considered the guy's appearance.  
  
"Home pregnancy test, sweetie. It's simpler then you think, but if I need to prove it, I'll get an appointment to see someone." Angel scowled then tossed her animal back into her bedroom. "If you'll excuse me, I have a wedding to help plan, Kanteon," she said, returning to the use of his last name as she walked past him and back into the living room.  
  
_If there's nine months of this temper and these mood swings, I'm moving to Australia or going back to Canada. They'll be no living with her until this kid's born._ Another thought struck him. _My father. I'm going to have to tell him she's pregnant and he doesn't even know she exists beyond 'a girl I'm seeing'._  
  
Julius walked back into the living room, trying to ignore the glares he was recieving from several different people. Nanaki and Natasha were the only ones that looked amused except Nanaki's expression appeared slightly more murderous.  
  
"Angel, we kind of have a problem," he said, coming up behind her and trying to ignore the expectant looks from the others. Tara was the only one that hadn't looked at him but she appeared to be in an almost catonic state of breathing and humming to herself.  
  
"And what would that problem be?"  
  
"We have to go to Canada and tell my father..."  
  
"And cut. Thanks, you guys. I'm just going to go send this in to MTV and get you guys on that show about baby mama drama. It's like real life or somethin'. Thanks, guys." Natasha popped the tape out of the recorder and clicked it off, returning it to itself.  
  
Julius started to object but stopped when Nanaki took the tape and shoved the blades on one hand through it. She waited a moment then pulled them back, dragging a mesh of tape with it then dumping it into the garbage.  
  
"I knew there was a reason I liked her," he mumbled to himself, forgetting about his father for the moment.  
  
Nanaki glanced at him with one eyebrow raised and a smirk. "Too bad the feeling's not a returned one, huh? I think we need to go have a talk, Julius. A very long, very animated discussion about your pregnant girlfriend and future kid..."

* * *

_X-Mansion (Kitchen Poker Game)  
_  
"Remy don' get it, _homme_. I t'ought we raised de petites better den dat," Remy said, picking up his beer and taking another drink before slapping his cards down on the table. "De Royal Flush."  
  
Logan shook his head, downing the last of his beer. "Maybe we should have given 'em more safe sex talks?" he offered after laying his own cards down and comparing them all around. He scowled after a moment and retrieved another beer from the bucket near his feet. "Cajun won."  
  
"Of course Remy won. The safe sex talks probably wouldn't have changed much except maybe kept Angel unpregnant, but then again.."   
  
Scott and Bobby chimed in with Hank to finish the sentence. "No birth control method is 100% accurate."  
  
"Abstience be 100% accurate," Remy muttered, darkly then pulled over his tokens. "Remy knew his ange would be a problem after de Ryan incident. De boy probably didn' even have a tattoo."  
  
Hank shook his head. "How many of you were actually practicing abstience at their age or a little younger?" he asked, taking the freshly shuffled cards from Remy and beginning to deal them around the table. He waited for an answer.  
  
Scott raised his hand then looked around with a shrug. "I was a good kid."  
  
"More like a fairy. Remy's **currently** practicing abstience," he announced after picking up his cards and fanning them out. He got a beer from the bucket and opened it, taking a drink.   
  
"I can't remember being their age, but I'm very aware that I've hardly practiced abstience," Logan replied, trading in three cards for a different set of three. He stared at them a minute then scowled.  
  
Bobby frowned, staring at his cards. "I thought this was Go Fish? I never knew you could trade cards. What else has been hidden from me?"   
  
"You're too young to know."  
  
"It's okay, Robert. Marshmallow?" Hank held out the bag to his young friend, offering the brightly colored square-like sugar lumps. He waited until a handful had been taken and shoved into Bobby's mouth before returning them to the table beside him. "Logan, do not speak of such things around the child."  
  
"Mon ami, de boy in his thirties! Merci!" Remy tossed his cards down and took a drink of his beer. A far away look developed in his eyes before he hugged the bear, smiling. "Remy 'member when his _'tite ange_ had her first drink. She was such a curious child with a pention for de alcohol," he said then looked around at them. "Do you remember?"  
  
"I still have the scars to prove it. How did she end up in the pool, Remy?" Scott touched his arm and glared in the direction of the door, mumbling something. The only words that could be made out of it were 'revenge' and 'rogue'.   
  
"Remy still not sure. De _'tite ange_ always was an odd one. I t'ink Remy's out for de night...Rogue'll kill 'im, if he loses all his money. When de _femmes_ coming home?" Remy pushed his chair back and stood just as Kurt came into the room, in his blue form.   
  
"Vhy are you playing Poker again?" he demanded with a quick look around at their alcohol and the remains of their poker game along with the condition of their table. His expression was not pleased.  
  
Logan just shook his head. "You missed dinner last night and the kids' announcements. Guess what Tara is?"  
  
Kurt thought a moment then smiled. "Engaged? I vas already avare of ze situation," he said with a brief glance around the table.  
  
"Guess what Angel is..."  
  
"Getting married, too?"  
  
Scott cracked up, beginning to laugh and knocking over his glass of orange juice; his fifth of the evening. Hank shook his head and helped the poor guy out of the room, mumbling something to Robert about 'watch the 'mallows'.  
  
"Dat would be easier, Kurt. She's pregnant."  
  
Kurt's eyes widened, and he looked shocked. "Ze child is pregnant?"  
  
"Can you understand why we're playing Poker and drinking now?" Logan asked, though the game had ended. He didn't comment when Bobby snatched up the bag of marshmallows and a handful of cards before fleeing the room with an unintelligent and incoherent shout.  
  
"It can't be zat bad, Remy."  
  
He laughed. "The _bebe's_ Juilus'."  
  
"_Mein gott_. I must go pray." Within moments, there was only a curl of smoke and the smell of sulfur where Kurt had been. None of the others spoke for a long time then Remy shook his head.  
  
"Remy t'ink he play another few rounds..."  
  
"Good call, Gumbo. You think the kid's told Juilus he's gonna be a father?" Logan asked once they'd gotten back into the game. He studied his cards but couldn't really figure out what to do with them. He hadn't dealt himself that good of a hand or even traded it better.  
  
"Maybe. Can we not discuss dis? Just play de game."  
  
"You're going to have to deal with it at some point."   
  
"Remy know, but not right now. Remy's pretending he doesn' know any such t'ing..."  
  
The phone rang.  
  
Jean Grey-Summers looked up from the magazine she'd been flipping through then picked it up when it became apparant that no one else would. "Hello?"  
  
"Let me talk to Jean."  
  
"This is she. Who may I ask is calling?"  
  
Ther was a sigh. "It's Tara. I don't know how to plan a wedding and the people currently helping me are causing more harm then good. Natasha won't put the video camera down. Angel and Juilus are fighting. Rogue and Storm are gushing over flowers and dresses. I never thought I'd say this, but... Jean, help me."  
  
_I could be nice and help her but then again. The monster had done a lot of things to harm my family._ Jean thought back over all the stunts that had caused 'problems' for her small family. _My husband was almost eaten by wolves after investigating the mysterious popping up M and Ms; my son's had so much torture from them, he's almost crazy. They have always baby-sitted for me and Angel was the one that caused most of David's problems, not Tara.  
_  
"What exactly do you need, Tara?" she asked, trying to ignore the sound of shouting in the background and cringed when something shattered.  
  
Tara was silent a moment then there was a shout of Angel's name before she came back. "I need someone that knows what they're doing. Help me, Jean. I have no idea what I'm doing and these...people aren't helping, any."  
  
"I'll be there in thirty minutes. Will that do?"  
  
"Um...actually no. We're coming to the mansion. Juilus and Angel are having a shouting match..something about...**Canada**. She just threw a vase. Expect a crowd of us...I think it's unsafe to spend the night here. See you, Jean."  
  
"Okay, Tara."  
  
The phone hung up but not before Rogue was heard in the background. "Would you stop throwing the silverware?!"  
  
Jean shook her head, resting the palm of one hand against her forehead. "These new adults are hopeless..."  
  
Logan and Remy's voices echoed from the kitchen in some song. It seemed to be made up off the top of their heads since neither was singing the same song, but it continued at a volume that could rival the loudest tv.   
  
"They're all hopeless." Jean shook her head then walked back into the living room, picking up her magazine. She thumbed through a moment then stopped on an article. "How to Make Your Man More Cooperative Through Manipulation. I'm already an expert at that... Hey! How to Pick Out the Perfect Lip Gloss..."


	5. Unexpected Storylines

**Chapter Five: Unexpected Storylines**  
  
_Current Brotherhood Headquarters (Inside)  
_  
Sabretooth entered his newest set of headquarters and immediately made a point to check where everyone was. Pietro and Pyro were having a conversation between them, at the kitchen table, while playing some game; Natasha was in her room since the phone was missing and her door was shut. The others were watching tv or doing something else stupid. They'd stopped living up to their name as The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants long ago but none had bothered to move out or quit.  
  
"Did you guys see that newest stripper?" one of the newer guys asked, taking up his seat at the table with the card players. He tossed a good third of his beer down then focused on the game again, looking around at the players.  
  
"I thought we agreed we were gonna leave the strip joints alone, mate?" Pyro asked without looking away from his cards. "Some of those are as old as my little friends- Angel and Tara. That's just disturbing..."  
  
"This was definetly NOT a little girl. Man, she was gorgeous. Long red and black hair, those bewitching black on red eyes, tight clothes. She can dance for me any day of the week."  
  
"Did you happen to catch her name or did that little detail escape your gaping, drooling mouth?" Pietro questioned after putting down a card. He took another one from the large stack.  
  
"It was an N word. Nat...Natalie? No, that's not it. Nicole...no...Nanaki..."  
  
"I highly doubt it. That last one's Toad's wife and my neice," Saber growled in their general direction then proceeded toward the door.  
  
The guy looked worried a moment then called to one of his buddies. "What was that stripper's name? The one with the..."  
  
"Natasha, I think. Yeah, that girl's definetly had some practice with a pole."  
  
_Natasha_.  
  
Sabretooth was frozen for all of ten seconds then stormed down the hall and went straight through the door. She rarely used her room anymore unless something happened with her roommates or they decided to stay with the X-Men; her prescence had become almost non-exsistence. It shattered under his body weight and sent jagged splinters across the floor. He stood there, silohoutted by the other room's light, glared at his daughter and waited for an explanation.  
  
Natasha hadn't acknowledged his prescence yet. She was completly intent upon her phone coversation with her feet propped against the wall and her head hanging off the bed. "It's not a serious thing, Ravine. I just need a way to make money and it was quick and easy," she said then noticed him, coming up with a start that a normal person would have been damaged from. She somehow managed to land on her feet. "Gotta go. Later, Ravine.." She hung up the phone with a bang. "Yeah, Dad?"  
  
"Where were you at last night?" he demanded, glaring at her. He hadn't been this angry since Nanaki announced her engagement to Toad then again with that kid of theirs, Simon or something's, birth. The kid was a monster with too much of his mother present, way too much.   
  
"Tormenting my apartment mates...was I supposed to be doing something else?" She stared at him in confusion with a smirk. "I wasn't aware of anything," she repeated as she had at her entrance earlier in the day. She studied one of her walls that was covered in a combination or pen and pencil writings; it was obviously notes to herself. "Nope, nothing planned."  
  
"What were you and your little friend talking about? How are you making money, Tasha?"  
  
"I have a job. They're common among people now days...or did you forget that I'm beyond old enough to get a job..?" She smirked, waiting for his answer.  
  
Sabre growled. "You've been talking to Nanaki again."  
  
"Duh. She's one of my apartment mates's sister-in-law...did you really think I could pretend she _didn't exist_..? Oh my gosh, you did. That is so sad," she said, almost inaudibly. She shook her head then stood. "You're really going to hate this- Angel's expecting."  
  
"Expecting what?" he replied, stalking after her when she went into the kitchen beyond him and began making a sandwich. He waved off Pietro's interestsed look and John's sudden shift in posture; his head shot up and he looked in their direction.  
  
"Expecting. Pregnant. Gonna have a kid...think, Dad. Angel's pregnant."  
  
"This is **absurd**! The sheliah's barely twenty-three!" John came out of the chair so fast that it turned over and his cards flew across the table. He stood there a moment then went to the closet, removing his flamethrower set then proceeded to walk out of the converted warehouse. His car started up a few moments later then faded.  
  
Natasha chuckled. "Angel's in trouble.."  
  
"I don't give a damn about Angel! Do you or do you not have a job as a stripper, Tasha? It's a simple yes or no question!"  
  
She considered a moment then nodded, taking a bite of her sandwich. "Yes, I do. It pays good and I make money at something I'm good at. The new guys promised not to tell you but obviously I have some castrating to do," she mumbled, saying the last part under her breathe as she ate some of the sandwich. "What's wrong, Dad?"  
  
**"NATASHA ELIZABETH CREED!"**

* * *

_X-Mansion (Inside the Mansion)  
_  
"Tara Toynbee, what problem do you have with white?!"  
  
Tara counted to twenty to calm her self then gave Jean a calm, even look. "I'm. Green," she said, emphasizing each word as though speaking to a child or illiterate person. She tapped her nail's against the table's top and focused on the tv that was blaring some violent movie in the background. She watched for a few moments until Logan looked at her then mouthed '_Help Me_'.  
  
Logan shook his head and returned to the tv.  
  
She sat there a moment then walked over to him and leaned on the back of his chair, placing her arms around his neck. "Why won't you help me, Logan? She's driving me crazy," she mumbled under her breathe without taking her eyes off the violent scene of tv. She noticed that almost every other male in the mansion was focused on the screen, even Hank's eyes were focused on it.  
  
"Did I _make you_ ask her to plan your wedding?" he asked after another gulp of beer. He'd drained half the bottle in one swallow.   
  
"I was desperate!" Tara took the bottle and drank the rest before he could figure out her intention. Logan turned an irritated gaze in her direction. "Don't look at me like that. I'm of legal age now," she pointed out, setting the empty bottle down and starting back to the table.  
  
Remy's voice stopped her. "Non, _petite_. If y'can drink de alcohol, y'can buy it. Here's de money now go buy de alcohol," he said, holding out a couple of bills. She shook her head.   
  
"Angel buys beer, but I don't. I just **steal** it."  
  
"Tara!"  
  
"Wedding to plan," she called over her shoulder then resumed her seat beside Nanaki. She studied the dresses over Jean's shoulder then placed her hand in the center of the book, stopping it in mid turn. "That's it!"  
  
"...It's not a funeral, Tara."  
  
The dress was black. It wasn't a typical wedding gown since it was missing the usual lace and other such bows that they were typically overrun with. It wasn't tight or even skimpy like most gowns; it was long and completly black.   
  
"I like black. What's wrong with black?" she demanded, glancing around at her gathered wedding planners and/or helpers. Their only way of helping so far had been to give her a headache, drive the male X-men and other guys into the next room, and forced her to miss a call from Angel. It had been made from hers and Juilus' plane to Canada. The grandfather announcement was about to be made.  
  
"It's a funeral color," Jean mumbled then flipped to another white gown. "This is perfect. It's simple yet pretty. Anyway, what guy would want to a woman who wore complete black?"  
  
Rogue smirked and looked into the next room. "What's the opinion on girls in black?" she asked, retrieving a small notebook from one of her pockets. She flipped to a clean sheet and started making notes as they spoke.  
  
_We really need to stop answering questions by polling the mansion_, Tara thought with a shake of her had. She picked up a nearby GameBoy and began playing through a game of Tetris; it only took a few moments for her to reach the twelth level and lose control of the shapes. _We should not solve things by polling the guys, mansion inhabitants, or anyone else that tends to participate in our polls. Note to self: never make a comment that requires more then one answer while in the mansion.  
_  
"**_And here are the results_**. Three guys said yes to girls in black, better if leather. Four admitted they had dressed in black to catch a girl's attention, including Toad. Six agreed that black is wedding inappropriate unless it's Elvira," Rogue announced upon returning to the room. She set her notebook down and allowed the others to look at it. "Don't ask who Elvira is. If you don't know, you're lucky," she mumbled.  
  
"Why don't we just take your word for it, Rogue?" Nanaki asked, coming back into the room after a rather long abscene. She'd gone to speak with Santiago about his grades, taking one of her daggers with her; the dagger was now nowhere in sight.   
  
"Did you kill my nephew...?" Tara stared at her with something close to real shock but bordering on amusement. Nanaki loved her son despite the many threats she made upon his life or the many ways she'd attempted to get rid of him. There was also, the fact that Toad would have disowned her if anything had happened to their son. "I hope not...he was planned to be in my wedding!"  
  
"No. The bad children _aren't allowed_."  
  
"Shut up, Jean. I didn't kill him, Tara, but I did give him a very good talking to. Do you really think I'd kill Santiago?" she asked with an attempt at a serious expression.  
  
"Celesta might."  
  
The change was almost instant. "I would not! Nanaki wouldn't allow it and...where's Baby Daddy and the momma-to-be?" she asked, leaning over to look at the dress. She smiled. "Now that's a dress for 'Uncle Vic's' funeral...when is that again?"  
  
"Sabertooth isn't dead, darling," came Logan's reply from the living room.  
  
Celesta replied in kind. "No one asked you, shrimpy. Now shut up so we can plan Tara's wedding and marry her off the people you dislike."  
  
"Nanakins, stop calling the evil fuzzy man names," Toad called from his seat. He was drinking beer along with the rest, though he still looked somewhat uncomfrotable.   
  
"Don't call us Nanakins!.....does anyone else smell something burning..?"  
  
Several different heads whipped around, sniffed, then bolted out the front door. Bobby was in the lead and shot a stream of ice around the tree until the fire froze and remained in it's frozen state as the others came out to watch. John fell out of the tree a few moments later and glared at them all. His hair was sticking out in ever direction and something like the look of a crazy person had crossed his face.  
  
"Angel. Where's Angel? We're going to have a talk..._a safe sex talk_....I have to have a talk with the shelia, mates," he babbled on, stumbling over several words and ending up stuttering.   
  
Remy shook his head. "It don' work, _mon ami_. De chile already pregnant...de safe sex talks didn't do anyt'ing to mon ange," he said then held out one hand, helping his fallen friend up. He put one arm around John and patted his back. "We go make Tequila Sunrises for everyone."  
  
"Good suggesstion, mate," John mumbled then walked inside with Remy. Their voices were lowered but a few words drifted back to the others. "Where's the angelic shelia?"  
  
"...Canada..."  
  
"Canada?!"  
  
"It be a long story, mon ami...."

* * *

_Three Hours Later_  
  
"Make it stop, please, somoene..anyone," Tara begged, pleading with the ones that were gathered around her. She had her hands pressed over her ears to block out the sound of singing in French; it was loud and off-key. Remy and John's duet had lasted for an hour now and was only getting worse with time.  
  
"Sugah, we can't shut them up unless they decide to shut up. The last time we tried to shut them up didn't go quite so well," Rogue said without lifting her head from the book of flowers. She ate a couple more bites of her bowl of cereal then flipped to the index. "What do ya think of roses, sugah?"  
  
"I hate 'em."  
  
"Do you like daises?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Do you like flowers at all?" Nanaki asked around a mouthful of food. She didn't even bother to swallow but instead talked around the food that was filling her mouth. It was an unattractive trait until her husband was considered; a frog.   
  
"Not if they're yellow or start with the letter R. I hate roses and I hate yellow roses even more," she stated with a smirk. She stood and dumped her plate into the garbage can then took up her seat, stopping to briefly yell at her 'relatives'. "Would you idiots keep that noise down? Some of us are trying to plan a wedding instead of getting drunk!"  
  
"We're not drunk, shelia," John called after another drink of his brightly colored Tequila drink, "We're intoxicated."  
  
The sound of arguing came then there was a raised voice that could only belong to Kurt; it was laced with German words and riddled with his accent.  
  
"Vhat are you idiots doing? Haven't I told you vonce that ze alcohol is bad? Does anyone is zis accursed place have anything to do vith vhat I say?" Kurt's voice echoed for another few moments then something broke.  
  
Rogue jumped up and ran to the rec room, entering and slamming the door. The house shook and several things fell off shelves, shattering or just rolling away and out of sight. The sound of arguing voices, Kurt and Rogue the loudest, came over the sound of drunk singing in French. The phone rang.  
  
Nanaki reached over and grabbed the phone. "Hello...Angel?"  
  
"We're on...our...way...back.." Angel's voice faded in and out of the phone. It was obvious that she either was or had been crying not that long ago. Voices could be heard behind her but Juilus' wasn't among them. "It's...uh...it's not that bad...his sister's excited and his father almost.." She stopped speaking and began to cry into the phone. There was a rustinling then Julius' voice filled the small phone.  
  
"Things went okay. Don't ask about the cry. She's barely stopped in four hours; I haven't hurt her, but I might..."  
  
"Don't you dare hit her while she's pregnant, Julius Augusutus Kanteon.."  
  
"That's not fair!"  
  
Nanaki waited a moment then added, "Angel can't hit you either..unless you really, really deserve it. That's my deal; do you two get it?" she asked with a bright smile but allowing the threat to have it's place.  
  
"What if she hits me..?"  
  
"...you bring the problem to Remy and he'll take care of Angel. Trust me, it won't be a good thing or even as nice as you'd expect..."  
  
"Yes, Mother Theresa. Plane's about to take off and Angel's complaining of hunger....see you in the morning, Nanaki." The phone went dead.  
  
Nanaki sighed, staring at the dead phone for a moment. "I _love_ death threats." 


	6. Not Exactlya DISASTER

_A/N: This chapter begins two and a half months after the last one. If you can't, or won't, do the math...Angel's four months pregnant as of now; the following people know: all X-Mansion residents, Natasha and Tara, Nanaki, John a.k.a Pyro, all brotherhood members, and the guys-Juilus, Jax, and Landon. Jean is still planning Tara's wedding and Natasha's current situation will be explained...in a bit. That said read the chapter and review. Thanks, y'all._

* * *

**Chapter Six: Not Exactly...a DISASTER  
**  
Julius Kanteon flipped through the few tv channels, mumbling under his breathe, though the television had been muted. It stopped on some talk show about mothers who thought their daughters dressed too sexy; several of the girls brought back memories of his first meeting with Angel. He almost smiled before he heard the thump from the direction of their bedroom.  
  
Angel was awake...again.   
  
He'd thought he was doing them all a favor by switching with Natasha for the duration of her pregnancy. It would allow him to keep an eye on Angel and little Julian until he'd been born; the name had been his choice except he hadn't mentioned it yet. It had been a good idea until Angel started having sleep problems, child realted ones. Her motto ran along the lines of "If I can't sleep, you won't either".  
  
"_Your kid_ won't let me sleep, Juilus," Angel announced upon entering the living room. One of her hands rested against the growing bulge of her stomache. It was getting even more obvious how far along she was especially since she ate more often then Jax; a scary thought in itself. "I can't sleep at all and you're out here watching...talk shows on mute!"  
  
Juilus sighed and motioned with one arm. "Angel, come over here," he said then waited until she'd settled on the couch beside him, wrapping a blanket around herself as though to keep from touching him. "You are aware this _your kid_, too, right?"  
  
"Duh. Why else would I be swelling up like a hot air balloon?" Her voice was flat and serious.  
  
"Stop using sarcasm. Julian shouldn't end up too much like you...I couldn't deal with another one of you," he said, shuddering at the thought.  
  
"Julian?! We are not nameing our little girl Julian!" Angel was off the couch in an instant and glaring at him. "I refuse to let you name our daughter Julian."  
  
"We're not having a daughter. It's gonna be a boy, Angel."  
  
She laughed. "Don't hold your breathe, but fine. We can settle it in the morning when I go to my doctor; I'm far enough along they can tell the sex," she said with a smug smile. She retrieved her blanket then curled up beside him, although she rested her head against his shoulder this time.   
  
_I don't think I'm gonna live through another five months of this. Maybe I should move to Australia or at least back to Canada..._ Julius placed his arm around her shoulders and returned his attention to the tv. He was just beginning to enjoy the silence when Angel squirmed away from him and sat up.  
  
"What's wrong now?"  
  
"The baby kicked," she replied, resting one of her hands against the swell of her stomache. She stayed that way for a moment then placed his in the place of hers, watching to see his reaction when he felt it.  
  
"I didn't know animal kicked," he mumbled, using the pet name he'd adopted for their baby. It was taken from the annoying toy his little sister had, modeled after some tv characters; the baby behaved about like an animal. "Does it do this often?"  
  
"Sometimes. I didn't know if you'd want to feel her kick or not. Why do you have the tv on mute?" she asked, skipping onto a different subject as though their first was over.  
  
Juilus shrugged, pressing a button to unmute the television. The sound blasted out even if it was a lower volume then was normal in the small apartment. "I was trying not to wake anyone up since you all have a huge problem with people waking you from sleep. Tara comes up growling and swearing," he said, remembering the first _and_ only time he'd ever woken Tara up. It had nearly gotten him seriously injured.  
  
Angel smiled and laid back down, wrapping her blanket around herself. "She was raised by Logan for the most part, what do you expect? The guy's woken up and stabbed someone for startling him...do you really expect her to be docile as a kitten when she wakes?"  
  
"Go to sleep, Angel. You, too, Animal," he announced, patting the blanket where it rested over her stomache. She pushed his hand away.   
  
"The baby is not a dog. Don't pet her."  
  
"Good-night, Angel."  
  
"Night, Juilus," she mumbled, quietly then leaned up and kissed him on the cheek before curling up again.  
  
Juilus shook his head and flipped the channel, mumbling something that was too quiet to be heard. He watched the tail end of some soap opera but none of it made sense.   
  
"It's nice to see one of us can sleep," he growled with a glare at his sleeping companion.

* * *

_Next Morning 10:45 a.m.  
_  
"I don't want to eat the damn eggs."  
  
"Eat the damn eggs, Angel."  
  
"I don't want the damn eggs!"  
  
"Eat the damn eggs."  
  
"You want the eggs so much? Fine! The damn eggs are yours!" Angel threw the plate before he had time to react. It missed his head, slamming into the wall behind him but in the process, threw the contents of the plate onto his head and clothes. Eggs slid from his shoulder into the sleeve of his trenchcoat; he glared at her.  
  
"_Angel Elizabeth!_"  
  
"Don't use my full name."  
  
Juilus glared at her in silence for a moment then picked up a handful of his cereal and threw it. Most of it missed her, though quite a bit of it stuck in her hair by clinging to the long, unbrushed strands.   
  
"_Juilus Augustus!_"  
  
"You started it."  
  
"I did not."  
  
"Did, too."  
  
"Did not."  
  
Angel glared at him a few moments longer then picked up her glass of orange juice and poured it over his head. He threw another handful of cereal at her while trying to shake most of the orange juice from his hair; he ducked just in time for the banana she threw to miss. Things continued at this pace for awhile with the two young adults throwing food back and forth until the lock on the apartment clicked; someone was home.  
  
"What _the hell_ did you two do?!" Tara demanded, staring around the room after dropping her bag on the table. She looked rather shocked, but it was nothing compared to the expression on Jean's face when she entered a few moments later with Rogue and Nanaki. Natasha hadn't been seen much since her father had found out about her part time job; it hadn't been a pretty sight.  
  
"She started it!"  
  
"I did not! You know I didn't!"  
  
Jean frowned and began pulling on a handful of her hair with more strength then could be healthy. There were streaks of gray in it that had begun with them and gotten worse once David was born; Santiago hadn't exactly helped. "This is terrible," she mumbled to herself, though the others could hear it. "The flower people will be sending flower samples over within the next half hour and you two have given new meaning to the term breakfast buffet!"  
  
Julius looked down at himself then shook his arm until several globs of egg slid down through the wrist cuffed area. "I just wanted her to eat the eggs. Now I have to go before my boss has a fit about all my abscences, plus I still have to take a shower. Thanks, Angel," he called back, though his voice was without humor of any sort, as he headed toward the door.  
  
"Your welcome, Juilus!"   
  
"Am I the only sane one here?" Tara asked with a look around at her wedding planners.  
  
"No." Celesta smirked in her direction. "Bye, baby daddy."  
  
"Why are you covered in cereal and why did eggs fall out of his coat? I'm not even going to_ mention_ the orange juice..." Rogue crossed her arms and tapped one foot, waiting for an answer. Her voice had a big effect since Angel suddenly looked guilty and shrugged, studying the mess they'd made. Every form of possibility for breakfast, and some that weren't, were splattered on the walls, floor, and table.  
  
"She doesn't like eggs," she said, simply.   
  
"Who doesn't like eggs?" Jean demanded with a glare toward them; the front of the apartment was beginning to fill up with delivery vans full of flowers. This only added to Jean's hysteria. "They're here!"  
  
"The baby. She doesn't like the eggs." Angel patted her stomache then began pulling cereal from her hair and putting them back in the bowl he'd been eating out of. She continued for a few moments then looked up. "Wait a minute...who's here, Jean?"  
  
"The people that are going to help with the wedding," she replied, glaring in her direction as several people dressed in white entered with arms full of 'flower samples'. "Go take a shower or something. Your head's dripping with cereal and there's jelly on the side of your face."  
  
"What's your point?"  
  
"Her point is you look ridiculous. Go clean up, Angel."   
  
"Fine..." She stuck her tongue out at Jean, a rather childish thing for a twenty-three year old with a kid on the way to do, then vanished down the hallway, mumbling to herself about 'old ladies with blue hair'.  
  
Jean glared after her, ignoring the flower people. "I am not old and I don't have blue hair!!!"  
  
Celesta looked thoughtful a moment then pulled out a couple strands of Jean's hair, studying them before she shook her head in mock pity. "Your hair begs to differ...it's getting a blue tint to it," she said with a smirk. Her attention went to Tara. "As for you and this wedding...take our advice, okay? ELOPE IN MEXICO."  
  
"Huh..?" The others stared at her, stupidly except Tara who just shook her head, waiting to see what else would be said. It was sometimes rather funny when Celesta was out; this was one of those time, apparantly.  
  
"Take the boy. Run off to mexico, that's over the border, and ELOPE."  
  
"Your crazy."  
  
She shrugged. "Of course we are; I'm here, aren't I? Nanaki wanted to tell you but didn't want to have to put up with Jean's reaction. Elope in Mexico, Tara....before this...woman gets anymore ideas," she repeated, emphasizing Jean and the millions of flowers with a tilt of her head.

Tara glanced around at all the flowers and the so-called beautiful white dresses that Jean had orders. She frowned, seeing a dress that she recognized; the wedding gown from Jean's own wedding. The thing was ancient. "Um...I'll think about that, Celesta...really think about it..."

* * *

_Apocalypse's Current Headquarters...... 3:45 p.m._  
  
"How did your mission go?" Apocalypse asked from his desk. He was seated with his would-be minions standing in front of him; none of them appeared too harmed except for the blood on the mall. It more then likely wasn't theirs.  
  
"It went fine," Landon said, trying hard not to stare at the image before them. The sight of a grown man of around seven feet tall hugging and petting a fat white cat that was curled up in his arms. The guy didn't seem to be right in the head anymore since he sometimes spaced out and mumbled under his breathe; it usually sounded as though he were spellling his name repeatedly.  
  
"Did everyone come back?"   
  
"Yes."  
  
Apocalypse nodded and continued to pet the fat cat. "What, Mr. Twinkletoes? Mr. Twinkletoes thinks something else is up...is it?" he demanded, sweeping their line with his gaze then returned to the head of the line on Juilus. "Juilus, Landon, I want you two to hang around. Everyone else is dismissed."  
  
_Oh, no. He's going to ask about the wedding or just about Tara and I'm going to tell him about the wedding. Dammnit...why does this stuff always happen to me?  
_  
The room emptied quickly until the only ones left were the two of them with their employer and his pet cat. Mr. Twinkletoes, as the cat was called, leaped onto the table and arched his back in a way that made most cats look skeletal; on this cat it looked like a fat cat still. Apocalypse watched him for a moment then waved his hand.  
  
"Go do..._kitty stuff_..."  
  
Mr. Twinkletoes obeyed his owner's voice.  
  
Apocalypse spoke once the cat was gone. "I've been informed that you both are requesting a leave of abscene and that you, Landon, would like to take an almost permanent leave of abscene....explain that."  
  
"I'm getting married and want to take some time off with my fiancee, Tara," Landon said, scratching the back of his hand as it began to itch. He tried to ignore the long scars that were still healing beneathe his finger tips; the scratching wasn't helping. "Tara and I have a lot to talk about, including uh...her family. Yeah, her family hasn't exactly accepted the fact that I'm marrying her. It's a little complicated so I wanted a leave of abscene to deal with them...**_and_** her."  
  
"You make her sound like a hellish demon or those pesky X-Men..." Apocalypse got a far away look then abruptly lost it, calling his cat again. "Mr. Twinkletoes! Mr. Twinkletoes! Mr. Twinkletoes!"  
  
He frowned, hating to add the next part. "Tara was raised by a member of the X-Men. Wolverine, or Logan, raised her after she and another child were abandoned with them....so in a way she is like the pesky X-Men."  
  
"How long has this...Tara...been with the X-Men?"  
  
He thought a moment but couldn't figure out the amount of years. "Tara was barely school age when she and Angel were adopted," he said, looking at Juilus who shrugged. He didn't think the two of them had discussed it very much.  
  
"What's your reason for abscene, Julius Kanteon? You are aware this is a personal favor to your father, aren't you?"  
  
Juilus nodded. "You and him remind me of it daily. My wife's pregnant..."  
  
"You're not married, Juilus."  
  
"My fiancee's pregnant."  
  
"You don't have a fiancee, Juilus."  
  
Juilus scowled in Landon's direction then returend his attention to their employer. "Fine. The girl I've been sleeping with off and on for the last five years is pregnant, my kid. Angel's not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer..."  
  
"If she was, she'd hurt someone," Landon mumbled then returned to his silent position. Juilus glared at him.  
  
Apocalypse folded his hands and rested them on top of Mr. Twinkletoes's body. "How did you two manage to get **one** girl **pregnant** and **another** **to marry you** at the same time?" he demanded, glowering at them both, though he looked humorous.  
  
"Dumb luck."  
  
"I'm cursed."  
  
"I believe the second. When is the child due, Juilus?"  
  
"If he's born on time it'll be another five months..."  
  
"When's your wedding, Landon?"  
  
He shrugged. "We haven't set a date yet."  
  
There was silence for awhile longer that was broken only by Mr. Twinkletoes purring and rubbing against their legs. Landon had to stamp out a sudden urge to kick or stab the cat.  
  
"Juilus, when your female friend gets within two months of her due date, you can take leave for as long as she needs you. Landon, get me the date and we'll decide your abscence then," Apocalypse said, gathering his cat again after standing. He talked to the cat for a few moments as a normal person would to a baby then motioned them away. "You can both leave."  
  
Juilus waited until they were outside to face Landon. "If she was, she'd hurt someone?!" he demanded, glaring at his friend.  
  
"Is it true or isn't it?"  
  
"It's true..."  
  
A phone rang. Landon picked it up.   
  
"Hello..? Hi, Tara.....**_Mexico_**?"  
  
Julius stared at him until he hung up.  
  
"Um..." Landon looked confused then shook his head. "She wants to elope in Mexico..."


	7. Survival of the Fittest

**Chapter Seven: Survival of the Fittest**

"Are you sure you wanna do this? Mexico's a long ways off and there's your future god daughter's birth...or did you forget Animal?"  
  
Tara frowned and continued tossing things over her shoulder into the bag that rested on her bed. She made a point to toss them so they'd land out of Angel's reach; her oldest friend was sitting on the bed, helping her pack and complaining. "I promise I'll be back before the baby's born, Angel...and let's face it...do you _really_ want to sit through _another wedding_ planned by Jean?" she asked, tossing a couple of shirts onto the bed then turning around. She crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes in the direction of her friend. "Remember her own wedding to Scott?"  
  
Angel shuddered. "I'm still scarred from that," she mumbled, attempting to fold a couple articles of clothing. She stuck them into the suitcase afterwards and hummed something; it wasn't exactly anything new. Angel had been humming it, _randomly, mind you_, for the last century or more. "The wedding from Hades..."  
  
Scott and Jean's wedding had been the most annoying thing either of them had ever sat through. It was hard to keep children under the age of ten behaved enough to have an entire wedding; they'd ruined the reception afterwards. Angel _started it_ by beginning a game of hide and seek that got stopped by Rogue entirely too late. The wedding cake and the other food had become dinner for a couple of stray dogs that had wandered up and Jean had locked herself in the bathroom. Scott cursed, sounding too much like Logan. A lot of cursing.  
  
"**Exactly**. You really expect me to stick around to let that psycho plan another wedding especially my own?" she asked after folding a few more clothes and stuffing them into the bag. She tossed a couple more things into the bag then struggled to zip it.  
  
"..I can see your point..." Angel frowned, placing her hand against her stomache once again. "Landon's okay with eloping in Mexico..?"  
  
"That's why God made Mexico, Angel. A place to to lay low in and get married without the whole enchilada....you get it?" Tara asked. Her attention remained on the suitcase and she'd begun to bite the tip of her tongue; it was a miracle it hadn't bled yet.  
  
She nodded, standing with some difficulty now that she was almost halfway into her pregnancy. Her mood swings were worse then ever, but she'd stopped throwing up and even allowed Juilus to get sleep every _now and then_. The name still wasn't decided on but at the rate those two were going, the kid would spend the rest of his or her natural life being called Animal.  
  
"If Jean asks, where am I, Angel?" she asked after picking up her bag. She walked to the window and slid it open, attempting to toss the bag out the window. This move back fired when the bag hit a screen and fell to the floor.  
  
"You and Landon are having some _**personal time**_ together. You aren't sure about every detail of the wedding and need to discuss it with him before you make any _serious_ decisions," she repeated back for the seventh time, checking her arm only once for the correct words. "I don't have the number neither do I know the address."  
  
"If she presses you..?"  
  
"I talk about the baby and possible name choices."  
  
"Good job. I'll see you in a few weeks or more, kay?" Tara gave her best friend of almost two decades a hug then picked up her bag, heading for the exit door to their apartment. She wondered, briefly about where Natasha had gone for the last two and a half months she'd been missing then dismissed the thought, figuring she was either busy or Kitty found out about her job. "When was the last time you heard from Tasha...?"  
  
"Not since the night we went to stay with the X-Men...you remember she went to see her father and them for awhile? She never came back and I ain't even heard a call from her...neither have any of our other friends," she replied, frowning and following her through the house. "Think she died?"  
  
"Doubt it," Tara replied, pulling the door open and stopping, dead weight in the doorway. Her mouth fell open then a stream of curse words, some real and some newly created, fell from her mouth in a rapid succession that rivaled Logan's. "I can't believe her!"  
  
Angel peered over her shoulder and into the hall. "Can't believe _who_?" she asked. The words died on her lips at the sight of Hank and Bobby pacing through the halls; one held a jug of kool-aid and the other held a giant box of twinkies. "Oh my.....Jean certainly...out did herself this time..."  
  
Tara threw her bag against the wall. "**_Dammnit_**, what are you two doing here?!" she demanded, storming into the hall and glowering at the two there. Neither one stopped nor dropped their so-called weapons. "Answer me _or_ I'm going to call Logan," she growled, sounding too much like the man who'd raised her.  
  
Hank came to halt and was followed shortly by Bobby stopping and spraying a film of ice across the wall. It caused her lips to take on a blue tint and made her shiver, infuriating her further. Hank sensed this as he began to explain. "Hello, Tara...Angel," he said with a nod to her apartment buddy.  
  
Angel smiled, waggled her fingers in a wave-like greeting, and went inside, leaving the door wide open to anyone who would bother to enter.  
  
"Robert and I were assigned to make sure that you didn't **attempt** to flee the town, dear child. It would be a terrible _inconvenience_ to everyone if you _left _in the middle of planning your own wedding, wouldn't it?" Hank said, appealing to his friend who simply shrugged.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
_I'm going to kill Jean. Mexico. Mexico. Mexico. I wanted to elope in Mexico and now I have to call and tell Landon that we aren't allowed to go anywhere because people are watching my apartment.  
_  
Tara stalked inside, kicking her bag through the door then slamming it shut so hard that the windows rattled. It did no good except to knock a couple of things off a nearby shelf and draw Angel's attention away from an episode of Smurfs that was playing out across the screen.  
  
"Problem, Tara?"  
  
"Jean's having our apartment _watched_ to make sure **I** don't go anywhere! I hate her..."

* * *

_Two and a Half Hours Later  
_  
"Are you still out there?"  
  
"Nope, we've gone home to report to Jean," a voice called through the door except it didn't belong to either of her guards. This voice was somewhat foreign but gave her hope of ever escaping her new prison and running off to Mexico; Landon had seemed almost relieved when she'd called him.  
  
Tara unbolted the door and threw it up, staring at her other friend. Bobby and Hank were still pacing the hall, weapons drawn and lifted. "Where have you been for two and a half months? Jax said you hadn't even been by...I thought you were staying there so Julius could stay here, to keep an eye on _Angel and his offspring_?"  
  
Natasha shrugged. "Planned to, but Dad overheard me talking to Ravine about my job and freaked...I haven't been allowed out of the house in two months. It wasn't the easiest two months since I couldn't do much in my _business affairs_ and couldn't play Scrabble unless I played with the guys," she said, twitching somewhat at the thought. "How's everything here?"  
  
"I'm being held hostage in _my own apartment_ by those morons outside the door. Angel's gotten worse mood swings and almost every morning I have to listen to her and Julius yell at each other, usually not even in **ENGLISH**. How do you think things are?" she fairly growled, slamming the door once Natasha came inside. She stalked over to her chair and sat down, beginning to draw some more; the drawing showed Jean being eaten by rabid wolves along with several **other** _possible_ death options.  
  
"That bad, huh?" Natasha mused after a moment, taking a seat on the couch by Angel. She glanced over at her then shook her head, looking around the messy apartment and listening to the sound of cartoons for a few moments. "That's it...we're going out tonight. The three of us are going to go find something **_fun_** to do, alright?"  
  
"What fun do you expect to have with a _Mexico obsessed chick_ and a _four months pregnant chick_? That reminds me...it's gonna be a girl, Tasha," Angel announced after clicking off the tv and standing. She glanced over at Tara then shook her head. "Don't look so murderous. You'll scare the neighbors."  
  
"Good."  
  
"We'll go out to a bar and get drunk like we used to do, alright? We're legal for it now!"  
  
"Helloooo...four and a half months pregnant here. I'm _not allowed_ to drink alcohol; Remy, John, and Julius have forbidden it." She shrugged and got a bottle of water out of the fridge, stared at it a moment then abandoned it on the counter.  
  
_Being forbidden hasn't even stopped you before_, Tara thought after another kick to the bag that was still sitting, completly packed, at her feet. _Why do I have to be the one getting married? I don't want to suffer through another Jean planned wedding...why does this stuff always happen to me?  
_  
_Dumb luck?  
  
Shut up, Angel.  
_  
"It serves unalcoholic drinks, dummy. You don't even have to drink unless you want...y'all come with me, please? I ain't seen you guys in going on three months!"  
  
"That's not our fault! Where **did** you go for all that time...?"  
  
Natasha looked uncomfortable then shrugged without saying anything.  
  
"Let's just go. I'm sick of being locked in here with dumb and dumber pacing around outside like military cards...**screw Jean and this wedding. _Can we just get drunk like normal people_**...?"  
  
"Sure..whenever you two are ready to go.."  
  
"We're ready. Let's go, Angel..."

* * *

_Silver Lizard Lounge (who doesn't love this place?)_  
  
"Okay, okay, okay. I've never...gotten arrested," Tara said, deciding it was the easiest option and one of the few things she was sure she hadn't done. A couple of her _I Never_ things might not have been really I nevers; her intelligence turned off quite a bit once she'd started drinking.  
  
Natasha rolled her eyes and took a drink while Angel simply frowned. She wasn't playing since she couldn't drink any form of alcohol but that didn't stop her from putting in her two cents every now and again. It wasn't usually anything important or even intelligent since she'd been downing nothing but orange juice and Sprite all night, a fact she was starting to hate.  
  
"I've never tried to run off and elope in Mexico," she said, returning the favor after hearing the details of Tara's attempted escape. It had gotten them quite a few strange glances but kept them entertained especially with Bobby and Hank's weapons. "_Nor do I plan to try_."  
  
"Ha ha. You'd have to **find** someone to marry you first." Tara smiled then downed her shot then dropped the glass back onto the table. It made a tiny pinging sound but didn't break or even crack a little.  
  
"Be glad I actually **like** you," came the reply before she became intent on waving down another waiter to request more shots. It took a few moments for the conversation to wrap up and the waiter to vanish; he was in fifteen minutes with their shots and a strange announcement.  
  
"Ms. Creed, there was a John Allerdyce on the phone. He was looking for an _Angel Blade-Lebeau_ who he was sure was here with a couple of friends; his request was that she call him back...have you any idea who this _**person**_ is...?" he asked, glancing around somewhat nervously at his boss' friends. He seemed like the type of person who was uncomfortable in his own skin but tried not to show it.  
  
Angel smiled, standing so suddenly that she almost knocked her glasses over. "Johnny called? I **have to** call him back...where's the phones at?" she asked, stumbling slightly over her chair then straighted, looking at the waiter. His attention had gone to her stomache. "Never seen a pregnant woman before..?"  
  
"Umm..." The poor guy looked at a loss for words but shook his head and hurried away, mumbling an apology on his way.  
  
Tara shook her head and fixed their next couple of shots. "You gonna go call John back or wait until we get back to the apartment?" she asked then realized she was talking to no one. Angel was already gone from their table and halfway across the bar, shoving her way past several people and toward the back where the pay phoens were. "Should we worry?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Anyway..._I've never_..."

* * *

_X-Mansion (Next Morning) 11:45 A.M._  
  
"I found the **_cutest_** outfit for the baby and just had to buy it!" Jean gushed, coming up and wrapping her arms around Angel in a tight hug. Angel cringed, visibly but endured the hug and even managed to nod in a somewhat gracious manner.  
  
"Thank you, Jean, though Animal isn't set to be born for another five months," she said, forcing herself to smile and open the gift. She forced a smile into place at the sight of the ugly green outfit with the ducks on it. "Oh look, Julius..._ducks_...**again**..."  
  
Juilus cringed. "_**More ducks**_. What is with the _ducks_, Jean? I'm sick of the damn _ducks_!" he snarled at the clothes before Angel patted the top of his head. He glowered at her a moment then stopped when Remy entered the room with Santiago and David being dragged along behind him.  
  
"What did you two do now?" Jean demanded, glaring first at her son then his younger play mate. Her expression wasn't friendly but her temporary distraction gave Juilus enough time to throw the duck outfit out the window then return to his position by Angel. "It better not be _another case of stealing_..."  
  
"De chil'ren thought it would be in deir best interests to create a gift for de wedding in a couple of months," Remy said, glaring at the two. His attention then went behind him to another figure. "And another homme decided to contribute his share...right, John?"  
  
"Johnny, what did you do?" Angel asked, sounding like his mother ran than his youngest friend.  
  
John opened his mouth but Remy interrupted. "Why don't y'check de front lawn, Tara, _petite_? Remy sure you'll enjoy your wedding present....before he kills it's creators," he said, glowering at the two boys. Santiago just smirked while David looked a little ashamed. "Stop smirking."  
  
Toad shook his head at his son but followed his sister outside. There was a shocked gasp then a rush of words, _**swears and praise**_; it was hard to tell which there was more of sense both flower quite steadily. "It's beautiful. It's almost as good as eloping in Mexico..."  
  
"Eloping in Mexico?! **Never**."  
  
"Give it a rest, Jeannie. The kid's still here, ain't she?" Logan said, entering with a cigar in his mouth. His expression was almost humored until he noticed all the people present especially the new males that were present. "Who the hell invited you _lot_...?"  
  
"Logan, that is no way to talk to our guests! They're here because they will soon be joining our **_wonderful _**family," Scott stated, recieving a firm nod of agreement from his wife. He looked around for a moment then smiled, holding out his arms. "_Group hug_."  
  
"Did Storm just call for lunch? Ah think she did... yeah, Storm called for lunch. Anyone else hungry?" Rogue asked after standing and putting an arm around Angel then Juilus. She started out with the others following, rather fast, faster then most of them had moved in...well, ever. "Ah think we're gonna have chicken. Y'all like chicken right? I have to make sure my grand daughter, or the closest thing ah'll ever have to one, gets plenty to eat.."  
  
Angel rolled her eyes. "You're making me sick again, Rogue."  
  
"Would you prefer me or Scott, sugah...?"  
  
"I love you, Rogue. Please don't leave me alone with him...."

* * *

_Lunch with the X-Men (Dun Dun Duuuuun) 12:00 P.M.  
_  
"Have you two thought up _any names_ for the baby?" Landon asked, breaking the silence that had taken over the table beyond Logan's chomping and snapping. It was a welcome sound to hear someone talking instead of just people munching on food.  
  
Julius started to open his mouth then shook his head. "Julian got vetoed when we learned we're gonna have a little girl. I can't think of names for a girl...anyone else got a suggestion?" he asked around a mouthful of something or other.  
  
Remy nodded after a moment, ignoring Rogue's glare and the shake of her head. "Do you remember de first time y'got drunk, _mon ange_?" he asked the question of Angel who nodded after a moment of thinking. Her expression was somewhat grave. "Do y'remember what y'said to Remy when he said it wasn't safe to swim drunk..?"  
  
She thought a moment then nodded. "I ain't drunk or something similar to it...why do you have to bring that up?"  
  
"How old were you the first time you got drunk?" Juilus asked, staring at her as if she'd grown another head. She shrugged and mumbled under her breathe, staring at her food but not really seeing it. "What was that..?"  
  
"Fifteen. I got drunk at fifteen while playing Poker with the guys...I won a grand total of one-hundred-and-seventeen dollars then made a fool of myself by jumping into the swimming pool fully clothed. Roguey _freaked_...and took it out on Scott. Why?"  
  
"_Amethyst means not drunk_."  
  
She blinked. "So what's your point, Remy?"  
  
Remy frowned. "Remy's point, _mon belle ange_, is dat it would make a perfect name for de chile. If she be anyt'ing like her mot'er, it be a very fitting name, aye, _mon amis_?" he asked, directing the question towards the other X-Men who were sitting around him. This comment earned him an elbow to the ribs from Rogue. "What was dat for, Roguey?"  
  
"Ya know darn good and well what that was about, Remy Lebeau. Now shut up and eat your fried chicken," Rogue commanded with a quick glare around the table. Every head went down and began to eat, including the ones who were older than Rogue or the few stronger then her.

* * *

_David's Bedroom, Across the Hall from Santiago's Room 11:45 P.M.  
_  
"January 15th."  
  
"Febuary 9th."  
  
"I claim December 17th!"  
  
"That date's already taken by Bobby along with seven others. Pick a different one, Dad," David said, marking a couple of dates onto his calendar. He made a few notes in a notebook then flipped to another section. "Anything new on the wedding section?"  
  
Santiago glanced at his notes then handed them over. "Two more votes that Tara and Landon **_manage_** to run off to Mexico...three claim Jean will _**die **_before the wedding gets planned...four _refuse to vote_...and Angel's voting in favor of the first two both happening..."  
  
"Santiago, what the hell are you doing?" Nanaki demanded, coming through the door and ordering everyone out. They scurried from the room, looking and sounding like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off or a mad cow pack. "I thought I told you _not_ to make anymore polls or voting things for money."  
  
He just stared at her, barely noticing the dagger that she was playing with. "Hey, Mom...it's for a school project and what's up with the dagger?" he asked, watching her as he often did when Celesta came out. His expression didn't change at all except for his expression to become a smirk. "I thought you'd never _tried to kill me_."  
  
"I lied, you little monster. Now end your damn voting booths and **GO TO BED**."  
  
"Can I finish recording the last couple of predictions...?"  
  
"**NO**."  
  
"You can't tell me what to do. Technically, by yours and Dad's standards, I'm old enough to make my own decisions. _What were you two doing at my age?_" The dagger flew across the room and landed right beside his foot, piercing the matteress and barely avoiding slicing his foot. "Right...I guess that's a mind your own business throw.."  
  
"Damn straight. Next time I won't miss, Santiago."  
  
He shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time....I'm going to bed..._sheesh_, you're worse then my mother, Celesta..."  
  
"Shut up and go to bed, you little monster," Celesta growled with another glare at the eleven-year-old. She stormed out, slamming the door shut and mumbling to herself.  
  
David stared at the door for a moment then turned, looking at his friend. "Does that mean we have a new topic for voting...?"  
  
"Mom's going to kill someone before this wedding and pregnancy are over..._**Mom or Celesta**_..."  
  
"Twenty bucks..?"  
  
"Twenty bucks."

* * *

_A/N: I hate this ending but couldn't think of a better one. Sorry, y'all. If you can't figure out what David and Santiago are doing...they're taking bets on the day Angel and Juilus' baby will be born plus what will happen before, during, or after Tara and Landon's wedding. I won't be updating Bayville, Intergrated or this story until I've added another chapter to my original fic; yes, cry for the loss. Now get over it. Later, y'all._


	8. Complaints and Complaining

_Disclaimer: I own nothing of the X-Men except a bunch of comics book- bought and paid for, mind you. I wouldn't advise sueing since I never have money; I ain't even got a job, imagine that. Unrecognizable characters belong to one of the following people: myself, Takamo, or another friend (she knows who she is and her name changes entirely too much to keep it straight). My Spanish and French are not entirely correct as they are not done into a human translation._

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Complaints and Complaining**  
  
**_The Apartment 2:45 p.m._**  
  
"I hate _you_!"  
  
"I hate _you more_!"  
  
"Because of you I look like a blimp and can't control my own eating because I'm eating for two!"  
  
"You were real willing at the time, Angel."  
  
"Ah, eso es un tipo típico!"  
  
"Quel typical est du truth?"  
  
"Ah, va hace algo ilegal!"  
  
"Vous sont pourquoi si whiny?"  
  
"Go do something il...legal...illegal." Tara flipped a couple more pages in the open dictionary she held then returned her attention to the arguement before them, taking a handful of popcorn from the bowl that sat on the table. She leaned back against Landon's arm and watched the two argue. "What did you get, Tasha...?"  
  
She shook her head. "I got why and whiny...I bet we can fill in the blanks," Natasha replied after flipping a couple more pages. She gave up after a moment, shutting the book and tossing it onto the nearby table. "Let's just watch..."  
  
"How many languages do those two know?" Jax asked, rubbing one side of his head where it was beginning to throb.  
  
Tara frowned then thought about it. "Angel can speak Spanish and a little French...plus _Gibberish_. Julius knows Spanish and French...plus they both got English. Does that make four for her and three for him..? Or does Gibberish even count..?"  
  
"Doesn't count."  
  
She shrugged and began playing with her ring, twirling it around her finger, over and over. She watched the diamond spin, listening to the on-going arguement; it was pushing into it's second hour, though there was still plenty of popcorn, candy, and soda for the showing. It looked like a group of college kids' version of a make-shift theater.  
  
"I'm leaving!"  
  
"You won't do it!" Juilus glowered at his girlfriend then crossed his arms, watching her with heavy amusement present. It was obvious that he found this tantrum and her words unreal and doubted she'd follow through with them.  
  
Angel stalked past him and next came the sound of things being thrown around a door slamming. This was accompanied by a bit of swearing that was in a combination of Spanish and English, sometimes Gibberish, too.  
  
_Uh-oh_, was Tara's first thought. She recognized the sounds from the few times Angel had tried to take off for somewhere, usually New Orleans-another failed attempt to attend Mardi Gras. She was packing and wasn't exactly being gentle about the entire process. _This isn't going to go well. I think it's time to go plan my wedding some more...even if it does mean more time with Jean.  
_  
Julius sat in one of the chairs, crossing his arms and helping himself to some popcorn.  
  
"You just watch me, Julius Augustus Kanteon!" she fumed, dragging a full suitcase into the room and heading toward the door. She swore several times and mumbled _what might have been_ voodoo curses from Remy, though no one was positive _what_ they were.  
  
He shook his head. "You'll be back," he said, confidently.  
  
The door slammed in the wake of his words. It remained shut but a few more swear words could be heard along with the sound of something being dragged, most likely her suitcase.  
  
"She'll be back any minute now."  
  
Someone whistled outside. Silence for a moment then a door slammed. Tires squealed.  
  
Landon looked in his direction, raising one eybrow but after a moment returned to watching Tara twirl her ring. Natasha and Jax didn't even come up for air or break contact, though there was an obvious half laugh from one of the two.  
  
"She'll be back.."

* * *

**_The Apartment 4:45 p.m._**  
  
Julius Kanteon flipped a channel on the television set then dropped the remote, casting an irritated glance toward his overly invovled friends. "Angel will be back any time now," he told himself after standing and stretching.  
  
Landon shook his head. "She's not coming back, Julius," he said, shifting his position slightly but not enough to wake Tara or even make her move more then a brief mumble. He smirked. "Want my advice?"  
  
"**No**."  
  
"Here is it anyway. Swallow your pride and go _talk_ to her."  
  
"Why do I have to go talk to her? She walked out, Landon." He walked into the kitchen and got a soda from the fridge, muttering to himself, though it wasn't exactly clear to anyone what it was. "Why do I have to go talk to her? _**She. Walked. Out.**_"  
  
_It's not my problem if she wants to walk out and go whine to Remy and the others._ Julius repeated the thought over and over but knew he would eventually go after her. He'd seen the result of children being raised by the X-Men and frankly...? It scared him, badly. _I'll give her another hour then I'll go talk to her. Yeah, one hour...maybe an hour and a half. I need a drink..._

* * *

_**X-Mansion 6:00 p.m.**_  
  
Tara Toynbee massaged her temples and tried to ignore the shrill voice that was talking a mile a minute next to her. She sighed then muttered to herself, cursing the ex-X-woman who had made herself sole wedding planner.  
  
"Don't you sigh and roll your eyes at me, Tara Toynbee," Jean said with only a brief glance up from the giant date book that she held. She flipped a couple pages then placed her left hand index finger on a square with a date. "November 21st."  
  
"No. That's too close to Angel's due date. Pick again," she commanded, glaring down at the book of flowers she'd been staring at, without seeing them, for the last twenty-five minutes. She ripped a page out, shredding the bright colored roses then threw the pieces into the trash before starting all over again.  
  
Jean huffed but scanned the page again, flipping back a couple of months then pointed again. "Augustus 18th...and stop shredding those! They cost a dollar each and are almost impossible to find nowadays!" She took the magazine and petted it like a child then added it to the stack of half mutilated magazines.  
  
Tara did the math then nodded. "I guess that would work, though I'd have to ask Landon..."  
  
"Well where is _the boy_?" Jean demanded with a toss of her red hair, now streaked with gray strands from her own son and the others' children. "We have soooo much planning to do...even the wedding singer and the cake and...and the invitations. I have to make the invitations."  
  
The twenty-three-year-old frowned. "Jean, it's _MY_ wedding. Can I have time to discuss it with _MY_ fiance before you start setting things in stone for _MY_ wedding..?" she demanded, glancing at the doorway in the hopes of being rescued by Logan or another. No one came, though the sound of voices could be heard from the kitchen.  
  
"I'm not eating that."  
  
"No one asked you to, _petite_."  
  
"Why can't you make something else, Remy..?"  
  
Remy's next words were exsparagated. "Angel Elizabeth Blade-Lebeau, y'have an apartment. Why can' any of y'eat there?"  
  
Tara missed the next exchange since Jean yanked her head down to look at a cluster of wedding cakes and gowns photos. She stared at them and wanted to puke at the white dresses with their white seed pearls and flowering white trains; the cakes weren't much better especially since most stood too tall to be normal or sane.  
  
"You're _psycho_, Jean. I think you died one time too many," she said, knowing it would cause a problem.  
  
There was a chuckle from the doorway. "More like _eight_ too many. The problem **wasn't** _how many times she died_ but the fact that she _came back_ after every one," Logan pointed out with a smirk, entering the room with a cigar dangling from his mouth. He chewed on the end. "Leave the kid alone, Jean. We wouldn't want her to rush into marriage."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "You'd prefer it if I never married, wouldn't you, Logan..?"  
  
"Damn right," he agreed once Jean was gone from the room, fuming and muttering to herself.  
  
"What exactly do you have against Landon? Oh, and for your information, Logan....if it weren't for Jean trying to play prison warden we would have run off to Mexico and eloped by now." She said it mostly to shock him but partly just to get a reaction. His reactions were worth more than normal person especially where she was concerned; he'd always blamed her problems- and anything else-on first Angel then Natasha and now Landon.  
  
His expression darkened. "What stopped you, kid..?"  
  
She gave his a dumb look. "The redheaded witch from the west, of course. Did you really think she'd let us walk out in the middle of her planning a wedding ceremony? Yeah, right, Logan." Tara made a face then studied him, cocking her head to one side in a gesture of thinking. "How'd you get back so fast? I thought you were doing something with your creepy, too-hard-to-understand past..."  
  
"I was but got an emergency call that I had to come save you before we lost a red headed telepath."  
  
She smiled and made a mental note to thank Angel later, if that had been her savior. She was almost sure that it had been since most of the others would rather watch her suffer with Jean than call Logan back from his search.  
  
Logan chewed on the end of his cigar some more then gave her a serious look. "Do you **really** want to run off and elope in _Mexico_?" he asked, point blank without looking away from her.  
  
Tara hesitated then shook her head. "Not if it means you, Angel, my brother, Nanaki, Remy and Rogue, Santiago, and the others couldn't attend...I just...don't want to attend a wedding planned by Jean. You remember her own wedding to Scott..?"  
  
He twitched and made a face. "Who could forget that? You and Angel almost ruined the entire ceremony within a few hours or less of it beginning," he said, smiling somewhat at the memory. "You two tried every trick in the book....including scaring off the minister by performing false _voodoo_ on the sidewalk outside the church..."  
  
She smiled, remembering it.  
  
She and Angel had sat on the sidewalk, surrounded by an imitation pentegram done in white chalk and chanted. She had balanced a pot of dark red liquid in one hand while Angel read from a book that was full of imitation voodoo curses gotten from old library books. The minister had almost walked out until Logan had come outside and yelled at them to "_stop pretending to worship the devil and get in here and look cute_". It had been long enough then for the minister to figure out it was a joke by two young kids.  
  
Tara smirked. "Where would the world be _without us_, Logan? Where would any of you be _without us_?" she asked, knowing he wouldn't answer it. He never did.  
  
He shrugged and chomped on his cigar some more, giving no response.  
  
She hesitated, having a second question to ask but unsure if he'd actually do it or just stare at her as if she were crazy.  
  
He picked up on it and removed the cigar to look at her. "What else are you thinking about, kid..? Don't even think about lying to me either..."  
  
"Could you off Jean for me..?"  
  
Logan stared at her for all of ten seconds then shook his head. "No. You asked her to help you plan this wedding; you're stuck with her," he told her, putting the cigar back in and chomping on the end of it some more. "I could have given you the name of an even better and cheaper wedding planner.."  
  
_"I don't want a stripper or hooker planning my wedding, Logan!"_ Tara glared at him with her arms crossed over her chest. "Why can't you just off Jean? It wouldn't take nearly as long as you think..."  
  
"No."  
  
"You'd be doing Scott and David a favor!"  
  
He shook his head. "She'd just come back, kid.." he reasoned with a shrug.  
  
Tara groaned and flopped down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. She blinked several times then sighed. "Are you _punishing_ me for something?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
Storm's voice came then. "DINNER!"  
  
"Come on, kid. Gumbo was cooking tonight so maybe it won't be that bad," he said, holding out one hand to her. She got up without touching his hand and started out the room with a muttered curse sounding oath. "You're not supposed to curse in the mansion."  
  
"How come you can then...?"  
  
"I'm an adult."  
  
"So am I! I'm twenty-three, Logan."  
  
He stared at her. "I'm still older."  
  
"**Way older**."  
  
"Shut up and go eat your dinner."  
  
Tara stuck her tongue out at his back, widening her eyes and making a face. She followed him into the hall then toward the kitchen, listening to the sound of Angel and Remy arguing.  
  
"I think it just moved, Remy."  
  
"It did not move, _petite_. If y'd quit poking it wit' de fork, it would lay still." Remy's voice held a note of warning and also exsparagation. "Stop poking de _accursed_ food!"  
  
"What exactly is it...?" Angel's voice was plaintive and followed by the sound of someone making gagging noises.  
  
"It don' matter, petite. Y'wouldn't be able to pronounce it...and Remy doubt de _bebe_ will even let y'eat it."  
  
"How do you know? Have you ever been pregnant..._chere_?"  
  
"Non, Remy never been pregnant."  
  
"Then don't tell me what I can and can't eat!"  
  
"Do you two have to fight about every little detail?" Tara asked, coming into the kitchen and surveying the scene then deciding she didn't want to know. It was better not to know when those two were involved.  
  
"Yes," Angel replied after sticking her tongue out at Remy's back.  
  
He responded without looking at either of them. "Tongue back in your mouth, petite, unless y'plan to use it for somet'ing. De chile has some problems to work out, Tara."  
  
"I do not have problems! Amy is not a problem." She petted her stomache for a moment, talking to the baby. "It's okay, _sweetie_. Grandpa's just a little upset because he's old and about to get his first grandchild..it's okay, _sweetie_. Mommy loves you and so does Grandpa."  
  
"Remy **is not** Grandpa! Remy looks entirely too good to be de...grandpa..."  
  
Logan snorted then covered it up by chomping on his cigar and going into the other room, yelling something to Scott who was attempting to help David with his homework. The boy looked more confused then like he understood his father.  
  
Tara grimaced, listening to Remy and Angel's arguement for a moment then went into the living room, picking up the phone. She dialed the number she'd memorized and waited through seven rings until a voice picked up.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Jeez, you sure people feel welcome, Jax. Put Landon on."  
  
"He's busy."  
  
"Go find him. **Now**."  
  
There was muffled cursing, muttering, banging on a door then raised voices. Landon's voice came on the phone after all this. "Yes?"  
  
"What were you so busy with?" she demanded, wrapping the phone cord around her wrist then undoing it to repeat the process.  
  
"What was so important that you had to drag me away from my work?"  
  
_"I want to elope in Mexico."  
_  
"Jean won't let us, Tara. We've already tried that."  
  
Tara smiled, thinking about something. "_I got a new idea_...can you get Jax and Natasha to meet us at the apartment tomorrow morning...? Bring Julius if he wants to come."  
  
"Julius figured out **forty-five minutes ago** that Angel and animal aren't coming back any time soon. He went to by flowers and think up a way to get forgiven without apologizing..."  
  
"Oh no."  
  
There so silence, signalling that he'd nodded.  
  
Jean's voice suddenly filled the room. "You are not running off to _Mexico_ to elope! Ever. I am planning this wedding so you _WILL_ get married under _MY _conditions?"  
  
"I have to go, Landon. I love you."  
  
Jean slamemd the phone down before he could respond then glared at her. "You are getting married under _MY_ conditions. Any unneccessary problems or attempted escapes will cause you to lose any opinion whatsoever in your wedding...you've already lost picking the flowers," she said, pointing to a magazine where a bunch of bright red and yellow flowers were.  
  
"Uh...."  
  
"DINNER!"  
  
Tara walked around Jean, muttering and swearing. "_Mexico_...I wanna elope in _Mexico_...it's not fair...**my** wedding...**my** choice..._Mexico. Mexico. Mexico._ I'm gonna move to the _Mexican Border_ and **live there**...."  
  
"YOU ARE NOT MOVING TO _MEXICO_."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I said so."  
  
"_Looooogan!_" 


	9. The Wedding Planner

**Chapter Nine: The Wedding Planner**  
  
_X-Mansion's Interior 2:20 a.m. (or two hours and twenty minutes after midnight)_  
  
"Oh, Julius! You're **so** sweet!"  
  
Julius barely managed to catch his balance completly before Angel threw herself into his arms, clutching him tightly around the neck, despite the bulge that represented their daughter. He realized something after a couple minutes and tried to turn his head in a way that let him see her face; he couldn't find one.  
  
"Honey, why are you crying?" he asked, noticing the wet spots on his shirt. Tear-sized wet spots that were spread out in a funny little pattern thing. "I'm confused..."  
  
"I...I..can't..." She broke off the words but continued to cry, tightening her arms around his neck to the point of almost choking him. It loosened after a moment and hiccuping sounds came from her instead of the previous tears. "I...love....I love the flowers, Julius," she managed before breaking into tears again.  
  
_I'm going to kill Landon_, Julius thought, awkwardly petting her hair and back like he would a puppy. The motion seemed to work since her hiccupping sobs faded into muffled sniffling sounds against his shoulder. _It's actually a good idea as long as Angel doesn't freak out this much all the time. Maybe it's just the baby... I need to make a note for future reference. Flowers will get anything, so it seems.  
_  
"What in the **bloody hell** are you people doing up at after midnight?" Nanaki's voice demanded before her bedroom door came open and she appeared, glowering and looking ready to kill someone.  
  
He struggled to think up a response but Angel kept breaking his concentration.  
  
Fortunately, Angel found their excuse by holding up the somewhat crushed flowers he'd given her. He wasn't sure what they were and was even less sure now. Most of the blossoms had been crushed, though a few still remained despite the crushing they'd taken from the strange little couple.  
  
"Julius brought me flowers and said he wants me and Amy to come back," she said, petting her stomache again. The exact kind of petting he wasn't allowed to do; it wasn't _fair_. "Your daddy's being nice again, _sweetie_."  
  
_Being nice again? When wasn't I being nice?  
_  
"Cute. Now do you want to shut up and go to bed, Angel?" Nanaki asked, giving her younger friend a look that could have stunned a horse.  
  
It fell short on someone of Angel's intelligence and mental compacity.  
  
"Of course, Nanaki." She petted her stomache again then leaned up and kissed Julius on the cheek, starting back to her room, flowers in hand. She stopped at the doorway and turned back. "Good-night, Julius. I love you."  
  
"Yep. Me, too," came the reply despite the door that closed before his words could complete. He started away then turned back, staring at the closed door ."Wait a minute. You're supposed to come back now and we'll live _happily ever after_, keeping my daughter from ending up like you. Angel..._Angeeel_...Angel?"  
  
"Go away, Julius. Amy and I need to sleep," came the reply, though it was slightly muffled against what must have been a pillow. The sound of a door locking came and when he tried the lock it didn't budge. Nanaki and Toad had vanished back into their room, her muttering swears.  
  
"ANGEL!"  
  
"Go home and go to bed, _mon ami_. _Mon ange_ needs her rest as does de _bebe_," Remy announced, picking him up by the collar of his shirt. He walked downstairs and deposited the still somewhat shocked twenty-four-year-old outside the door, slamming it in his face.  
  
Julius stared at the door, thinking he could be mistaken. _"That...was...not...fair."_

* * *

_X-Mansion's Kitchen 9:30 a.m._  
  
Rogue tried to ignore the sound of bickering from the table and remembered why she'd been so happy for the girls to get an apartment of their own. It had meant the bickering between Angel and Remy would stop plus Logan would give up some of his overprotectiveness. She'd been wrong.  
  
"Animal is just fine, Remy." Angel petted her stomache, staring at the food in front of her for a full minute before she began shoveling it into her mouth with little use to her fork. She finished half the plate within almost two minutes and gulped down half her milk. "Besides Julius is gonna help me and Amy move back into the apartment."  
  
"Remy wasn' aware you'd move out, _petite_," Remy muttered, glaring down at his own food and eating with much more grace than their ward. He even wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve before picking up his fork again. "Remy t'ought it was just a temporary t'ing."  
  
"Nope. I left because Julius was mean but then last night he brought flowers and I love him again...Amy does, too. Right, _sweetie_?" She returned to eating but kept one of her hands against her stomache, tapping her fingers against what might have been her daughter's head.  
  
"Dat not a very nice t'ing ta do ta the chile, _mon ange_."  
  
"It ain't hurtin' her, Remy. 'Sides, it's already gonna have problems with Julius for a father."  
  
Rogue sighed, giving the entire table a glare. "Angel, Remy, shut ya mouths and eat ya damn breakfasts," she commanded with a tight lipped glare, darkening the look when it looked either of the two would argue with her words. Silence followed as both went back to eating but this time, in silence.  
  
Silence didn't last long.  
  
"It's too early, Jean. Leave me alone!" Tara stalked into the kitchen ahead of the former X-woman and began filling a plate with barely a glance back. She focused on the food only after giving a wave-nod combination in Angel and Remy's direction. "Morning, guys."  
  
"Mornin', Tara."  
  
"Mornin', _petite_."  
  
Jean followed after a couple of moments, brandishing several different flower books and a dress of some sort covered in a plastic-like material. "Tara, you need to try on your wedding dress!" she screeched, waving the dress around in a way that caused several strangers stares and Tara to duck.  
  
"Jean, knock it off. My wedding dress is **NOT** white, it's silver or black." She finished loading her plate then went to the table to take a seat beside Angel. She picked up a fork from the table and began to eat, ignoring Jean and the evil glare she was recieving from the latter.  
  
"Want some salt or jelly?" Angel asked, sliding a condiments tray over with a quick motion to the mentioned items. She stood and picked up her plate, dropping it into the sink on her way out. "Thanks, Rogue."  
  
"Ya welcome, sugah."  
  
"This **is **_your dress_, Tara Toynbee. I had it sent via air mail last night!"  
  
"Nope. Nanaki's ordering my dress; she has taste."  
  
Jean huffed. "Like I don't?"  
  
"Bingo."

* * *

_The Apartment 11:45 a.m._  
  
Tara Toynbee stared at her reflection in the mirror then made a face and attempted to fit her rather large, entirely too traditional train out the door without tearing her dress. It was a tough fit especially since the area just outside the door was crowded with friends and so-called well wishers, inlcuding the ever sulking Jean.  
  
"You're beautiful, Tara. It fits you sooooo much better than the white frock Jean chose," Angel announced, adjusting the train that had gotten caught on one side of the bathroom door. She stood for a minute with her hand at her chin, studying Tara then frowned. "Wait a minute. No veil."  
  
"I don't want one."  
  
Nanaki shrugged after a moment, studying her sister-in-law. "Your wedding, but it's part of tradition to wear the veil," she said with another drink from the glass beside her. No one was sure what she kept drinking, though it seemed to smell horrible, if anyone could judge by Jean's distasteful expression. "What do you think, Jean?"  
  
"The white dress would look better. It's tradition. You're killing the tradition, Tara, but if that's what you want..." Jean allowed the sentence to trail off, leaving any of them to feel in the blank.  
  
Tara didn't even hesitate with an answer. "Yeah, I like the silver dress.."  
  
"Okay. What did you have in mind for entertainment..?" Rogue picked up a nearby notebook and pen, beginning to make notes across the semi-filled sheet of lined paper. The top had been decorated with a mixture of flowers and funky looking heart shaped things.  
  
Three different pairs of eyes, one green, one brown, one black on red, focused on Nanaki at the moment when she took another drink from her glass. The rim froze at barely an inch below her lips and she shook her head.  
  
"Don't even ask it."  
  
"Come on. _Pleeeeease_, Nanaki? How often do I ask you for stuff?" came the response from the bride-to-be. She brought her hands together in an almost begging position then wrung them together, gazing slightly up despite the fact that she was standing full heigth, without couching for once. "Angel, a lot but me? Rarely. _Please_ say you will before Jean finds some _**teeny bopper new coming band**_ to play there or Logan hires a **_rock band_** that'll destroy the entire thing. _Please_, Nanaki. _Please. Please. Please. Pleeeeeease_."  
  
"No, I'm getting drunk. I can't sign up to sing at a wedding while I'm drunk," Nanaki muttered after taking another drink from her glass. She put it back on the table in such a way that made the ice chink and a large crack appear in the glass.  
  
Angel grinned. "Nanaki, you don't get drunk. It's a save thingy from your mutation," she said then went silent at Nanaki's glare. She returned her attention to the article of clothing she was attempting to sew; it was turning into a eight-armed child-sized sweater. "But ignore me..I'm just the _mother to be_.."  
  
"Sugah, be quiet and go back to your sewing."  
  
"Umm...Angel, are you having a squid?" Tara blinked at the two-thirds sewed half of the sweater with it's seven and a half arms. It was green with white stripes and had oddly shaped footsies.  
  
She stared at it a moment then shook her head. "Julius said that I should get prepared 'cause the kid might end up having a mutation, though he's not sure," she explained, holding up the garment for inspection.  
  
Natasha coughed several times to cover a snorted laugh. "That doesn't mean you're going to have a squid, Angel," she said after glancing down at her friend's stomache. "Although...you might be set to have twins.."  
  
"**You're what?!** Twins?"  
  
Audible gasps were heard here from several different people, including a visage of swear words from Nanaki's direction before she re-filled her glass. "No, no twins. One kid is bad enough and I have a feeling that if she takes after either you or Julius..._God forbid_, both...one kid will be enough," Nanaki predicted, gulping down her drink then fixing another. "Twins. No way in hell."  
  
"I'm going to make a terrible mother and then...then Julius will be right again."  
  
Angel burst into tears.  
  
"Angel, you won't make that terrible of a mother," Tara said, patting her friends back then going back into the bathroom. There was silence for a moment except for the sound of Angel's sobbing and Tara moving around within the bathroom. "Besides, if _Nanaki_ can _reproduce_ and _not have the anti-christ or end the world_, how much **worse** could you do?"  
  
Angel cried harder for a moment then laughed.  
  
"Hello, wedding planner here...or did we all forget about the wedding to remind the world that the demon spawn is about to reproduce with a date rapist."  
  
"Jean?" Nanaki's voice drew everyone's attention then everyone noticed the now redness of her eyes and the heavy smirk present. "Shut up bothering the _mother-to-be_ before I go find _baby daddy_ and make you deal with him."  
  
"You can't insult me! _I'm Jean Grey-Summers!_ I've come back from the dead more times than the guy off Tales from the Crypt!"  
  
"Good for you. _I'm Nanaki Celesta Lucifer-Creed_ and I have a split personality. Now shut up."  
  
"Well I never...!"

* * *

_Apocalypse's Current Headquarters...... 5:00 p.m._  
  
"It's gotten closer to Angel's due date. When exactly am I allowed to take vacation time to be with her and the baby?" Julius asked, trying to ignore the cat that was weaving between his legs and rubbing up against him. It was a hard task in itself, made harder by Apocalypse's unblinking stare.  
  
"When is the child due, Julius..?"  
  
"Angel's just now going into her fifth month, I think but it would be easier for us both if I could get some time off right now," he repeated without acknowledging the cat that had begun to wrap it's tail around his legs. Mr. Twinkletoes annoyed everyone but mostly Julius. It was almost like the cat knew he was hated and had to stay around to make sure.  
  
"I'm sorry but right now isn't a good time, Kanteon. I plan to invade _Normandy_ within the next few weeks.."  
  
He blinked. "**Normandy?** Do you even know what **Normand**y is..?"  
  
"No," came the response from Apocalypse, though he never lifted his head up. It remained focused on the calender open before him. "Don't they have penguins or something similar..?"  
  
"That's _ANARCTICA_."  
  
"Are you sure? Jax was talking about **Normandy**...and said it had penguins because it was cold."  
  
Julius sighed. "**Normandy** is a code word as are cold and penguins."  
  
That brought their employer's head up, sharply. "Code words? I didn't authorize any new code words!" he said, rising about halfway and looking around. "Mr. Twinkletoes. _Mr. Twinkletoes!_"  
  
"I'm going to explain this once. Listen to me, okay? Once.." Julius held up his hands then removed a black permanent marker from the drawer, beginning to draw on the table. "_Normandy_ means Jax's girlfriend, Natasha. Penguins is a codename for her friends- _Landon's fiancee and my baby's mama._ Cold means that someone's pissed off, more than likely Natasha. Do you get it or do you need another demonstration, Apocalypse?"  
  
Apocalypse stared at the written on wooden table before him then frowned, giving Julius a look that said everything even before he opened his mouth. "You owe me another table and Landon owes me an invitation to his wedding," he said then waved his hand. "You're dismissed. _Get Out. Leave._"  
  
"Do I get off early for Amethyst or not..?"  
  
"Not..." Silence for a moment. "**_Amethyst_**..? My God, you people need therapy...that _poor child_.."  
  
"Her mother's name is _Angel_."  
  
"That explains it. I thought I said to get out? _**LEAVE**_."  
  
"When do I get vacation time? I mean, I've been a good worker for going on seven years," he reminded his employer with a scowl. He glared at the cat that had begun to curl it's tail around the nearby coffee mug, hissing every now and again. "I'm sick of that cat, too."  
  
"Mr. Twinkletoes is good for business," came the absent reply.  
  
"_Good for business?_ **Good for business?!** _**GOOD FOR BUSINESS..?!**_ How is a stupid, overfed, white cat good for business?" Julius demanded, hissing at the cat then causing the room to shake and several items to fall off the shelves.  
  
"Break it, you buy it, Julius."  
  
"Do I get time off or not?"  
  
"No."  
  
He glowered. "Why not?"  
  
"Is it two months before your son's due?"  
  
"Daughter, and no."  
  
"There's your answer."  
  
"You **suck**."  
  
"_Maybe so_. Mr. Twinkletoes, show Kanteon the way out of the room.."  
  
Julius stalked after the cat, too irritated to mind the fact that he was being led around by an overfed, white cat with a waddle to his walk. He slammed the door shut then their lasts words, his own and Apocalypse's, repeated themselves.  
  
_You suck.  
  
Maybe so.  
_  
"Bad image," he mumbled then walked off, twitching every couple of seconds as though he couldn't get the words out of his head or the mental image they had created.

* * *

_The Apartment 11:25 p.m._  
  
"Can we please elope in Mexico, Landon? _Pleeease_."  
  
"Stop begging, Tara."  
  
Tara propped her feet against the wall and balanced the phone between her shoulder and ear while _standing on her head_. She wrapped her tongue around the straw on the opposite end of the room and attempted to take a drink that way, spilling it across the floor.  
  
"Why can't you even consider it? I mean, do you really want to wear a **hot pink tux** to your wedding?" she demanded, flipping over and beginning to clean up the mess. She swiped at the coca-cola mess that was beginning to run. "...I spilt another drink...."  
  
"I thought you didn't drink alcohol?" came the reply over the sound of some video game in the background. The sound of Jax's voice accompanied it.  
  
"I don't except Nanaki left a couple bottles of alcohol here..and I wanted to try some things. It's actually really good. You got any alcohol over there?" Tara asked, yawning but pouring herself another coke and Jack Daniels from the many bottles scattered on the table.  
  
"Yeah.."  
  
"Wanna play _'I've Never'_..?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Hang up the phone, Tara. The wedding planner is back," Jean announced, strolling through the door with a bunch of brouchures and pamphlets in her arms. She wrinkled her nose at the empty or half empty bottles then tossed her brouchures and pamphlets onto the nearby couch. "We have to plan a honeymoon."  
  
"See we can still go to Mexico, Tara. Honeymoon."  
  
Tara hung the phone up in his ear then glared at Jean. "What if I don't want a honeymoon? You've already killed my wedding with _Pepto Bismal_ (sp?) colors and _not allowing_ me to elope," she muttered, picking up a couple of pamphlets and rifling through them. "Ooh. Cancun. Where's Cancun..?"  
  
"I don't know. I had something like this in mind..."  
  
She took the brochure and flipped through it, staring at the pages in shock. _"ANARCTICA? Why in the bloody blue blazes of hell would we want to honeymoon in ANARCTICA?!"_


	10. When the Cat's Away

**Chapter Ten: When the Cat's Away....**  
  
"What do you mean I have plans _tonight_? I'm sick of Jean's attempted wedding planning... I'm not going through it right now." Tara Toynbee pressed her full weight against the door, ignoring her the sound of her best friend's voice from outside the door. It had taken on a somewhat whiny tone since she'd gotten there.  
  
"It's not Jean! Please come out, Tara.... if you don't like it, you can blame me and Roguey. Please, Tara?" Angel pleaded from the other side of the door, banging one fist against it from the vibrations against Tara's back. There was a swear word then a mumbled, "Mommy's sorry, _Amy_. Such language should not be used around a child."  
  
"It's a _fetus_, Angel," she said, sliding the deadbolt aside and turning the other three locks then opening the door. She leaned against one side and regarded her with something similar to cool distrust. "What exactly did you and **'Roguey'** do?"  
  
"No, her name's Ameythst," came the reply before Angel looked up, smiling. "_Amethyst Miranda Kanteon._"  
  
"Cute. Again, what exactly did you and Rogue do..? If this is another attempt to make us honeymoon in either _Anarctica or Alaska_, so help me..."  
  
"Give the anti-trust thing a rest, _hun_. It's giving me a headache, and how often have I lied to you? ...Don't answer that."  
  
She nodded. "I wasn't planning to because even I can't count that high. Give me a minute to change then we can go wherever it is that we _**need**_ to go, but you've all been warned about my reactions," Tara said again then went back into the house, rummaging around for clothes that wouldn't give the wrong impression or present an image Logan would hate.  
  
Angel sighed and leaned against the door, saying nothing. She just watched and whistled every now and then, alternating between watching her friend and glancing around the bedroom, noticing that it was in terrible disray. A bad sight among Tara's sometimes, more often than not, clean habits. It was eerie.  
  
"Is something wrong, _hun_? You seem messier than normal..."  
  
"It doesn't matter. Let's just go, okay?" she mumbled, grabbing the first clean outfit she could find. She jerked on the clothes then dug out a pair of combat boots that had been stolen from the supply of X-men uniforms. It wasn't the _first _article of clothing stolen from them and it probably _wouldn't be the_ _last_.  
  
_I don't even want to know Rogue and Angel have done. Is there a nice way to refuse to go with your best friend? I mean, besides throwing a fit and looking like a seven-year-old again?  
_  
"No, you can not avoid me by throwing a fit, Tara. Remember...you know that I **can** read your thoughts," she said, opting for a Miss Cleo or some other psychic voice.  
  
Tara shook her head. "You're a weirdo. I mean, can't you think of a better voice to steal than some psychic chick that's probably a fake anyway," she said then continued at the sight of Angel's mouth starting to open. She slapped one hand over it and shook her head. "She's _**not** _a telepath or a mind-reader, Angel. Don't say it."  
  
There were muffled sounds against her hand before Angel fell silent.  
  
"Going to be quiet without my hand over your mouth?" One nod. "You're going to quit talking about psychics and pretending to be one?" Another nod. "And you'll tell me what you and Rogue have done?" Several quick shakes later, Tara removed her hand. "What exactly do I have to do, Angel?"  
  
"**Nothing**. _Nothing except_ come outside with me and get into the car. We'll drive for awhile then stop at our destination. And don't look so stricken...my driving is just fine."  
  
"Compared to who? Kitty...?"  
  
"Hmph!" Angel stuck her nose into the air and walked outside, mumbling and talking to herself. "I get no respect. Pregnant and expecting a baby within the next three months and I still get no respect!"  
  
"Angel?"  
  
"Huh..?"  
  
"Shut up."

* * *

_Apocalypse's Current Headquarters_  
  
"Time to go."  
  
"Where are we going, Julius?"  
  
"Out. It'll be fun and we guarantee that you won't be disappointed," Jax promised with a smirk, leading his friend outside with a hold on his arm. He walked outside and approached the group vehicles they kept then changed direction; he stopped beside the three motorcycles that were propped in one area. "Do you trust us or not?"  
  
"He shouldn't answer that," Julius mumbled with a frown, throwing one leg across the bike and adjusting his trenchcoat around him. It billowed out in some places, though that could have been a combination of the wind and several other, unnameable factors.  
  
"In response to that question, _no_, I don't trust you two. This had better not mess up my soon to happen marriage or even give Logan a reason to slice something of mine in half," Landon cautioned after a moment then sighed when no answer came. He was used to this. Too used to it.  
  
"Logan can't kill you because he won't know.."  
  
"Right. Logan won't know. I just _bet_ he won't."

* * *

_Silver Lizard Lounge 7:35 p.m._  
  
"Oh, goodie. A bar." Tara Toynbee didn't even bother to mask her sarcasm or irritation at the so-called suprise. It wasn't like she'd never been inside a bar before or even never gotten drunk before; she'd been fifteen or sixteen when she'd gotten drunk for the first time. A record.  
  
"Stop being sarcastic, Tara. It's not as bad as you'd think..."  
  
Angel removed her keys and started inside, whistling a tunless sound under her breathe while walking. She flipped through the keys a couple of times then removed one and fit it into the lock; a couple minutes later and they were inside.  
  
"What are we doing here, Angel? If Tasha figures out we're in here without her permission and without her around, we're **_dead_**" Tara said, following her friend inside. She blinked against the bright lights left in her friends wake. "Do you always have to turn on lights?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"_**Suprise!**_" The exclamation startled Tara so much that when Angel glanced over, there was no one beside her. Something similar to panting came from the ceiling where the faint outline of Tara could be seen, staring down at her with something between shock and worry.  
  
"Um...Tara, _sugah_, why are ya on the ceiling?" Rogue asked, walking over to stand below her. She tilted her head back and looked up, taking up a posture much similar to that of Angel. "We thought ya needed one more n'aght to have fun especially considering you're about to committ yourself to _one guy_. It's not as great as you think."  
  
There was a thud and the sound of several curses. "Next time warn me about something like this, alright? I'd rather not _fall off a ceiling_ too often...what exactly is _**this**_?" she asked after brushing a strand of greenish-brown hair behind one ear. She relaxed her shoulders and allowed Rogue to lead her into the next room.  
  
The room held random people from their past, including the former X-females and what looked like _Mystique_. There was an obvious distant, cold look passing between Mystique and the original Jean Grey-Summers.  
  
"It's a bachlorette party. Angel insisted that you needed one especially since you're marrying Landon."  
  
_I'm going to kill her. I'll just wait 'til after the kid's born...._  
  
"Like she can talk..? **She's pregnant** _by Julius!_"  
  
"And? At least the kid's _**mine**_!"  
  
There was silence for a moment then the others began talking at once and Rogue ushered her into the room. Before she had realized what had happened, she was seated in an oversized, comfy maroon chair with a table full of presents before her and a glass of what smelled strongly like Nanaki's vodka.  
  
"And what exactly is all _this_..?"  
  
"Gifts from your friends, Tara. It's to show that we all approve of your marrying Landon," Jean said, nursing a rather large glass of her own alcohol. It was obvious that it wasn't her first especially since she hated Landon and his friends.  
  
She decided to test Jean's alcohol limit as she picked up the first present. It was wrapped badly enough and chosen badly enough, _green and red plaid_, that it could have come from no one but Jean. "But you _hate_ Landon, Jean," she pointed out, tearing into the wrapping paper then tossing it onto the floor. "Oh, look...it's a..."  
  
There was a visible gasp from several different people followed by a choking sound.  
  
"Angel, _sugah_, are ya alright?" Rogue looked over then blinked since hers and Gambit's _daughter_ was no longer present. There was the sound of someone retching from the bathroom. "_Sweetie_, ya're supposed to be over the mornin' sickness by now."  
  
"It ain't mornin' sickness, Roguey. It's all day and blame Jean's gift," came the garbled response before the retching started again.  
  
"Jean, what's with the giant box of Trojans Man condoms..?"  
  
"_Safe sex_," was Jean's distracted reply, though she barely moved the giant glass, filled with multi-colored liquid-type slushies, more than a couple centimeters from her mouth. She drank some more then set it down for a moment. "At least practice safe sex so we don't get a minature version of you and Landon running around on behalf of Angel and Julius' little irritation.."  
  
"Amy is _not_ an irritation. She's mine and Julius' little angel," Angel announced on her re-entrance, petting her stomache once more. She returned to her place on the couch beside Tara then picked up a legal pad and pencil. "Jean Grey-Summers. Oversized box of Trojan Man condoms."  
  
"**_Next gift_**. This one's from Natasha. Sort of a make-up gift for her not being able to be here," Rogue explained, taking the gift from Storm and handing it over.  
  
This gift, though wrapped in solid black paper was almost as badly done and taped together as the last. One of the sides looked as though someone had tried to rip into it and failed, quite miserbly, at that. An atrocious, flourescent orange bow clung to the top, mixed with a bunch of multi-colored streamers bits.  
  
_Why do I let these people do this kind of stuff for me? I have no clue where they come up with this stuff or how they manage to hide this stuff from Angel, long enough for her to not spoil the suprise...  
_  
_We don't tell her until the absolute last minute,_ Jean replied through telepathy, obviously oblivious to much of her surroundings and to almost anything outside of her drink. She was still sipping away without the slightest interest in anything else._ No one tells Angel until we honestly have to and that's the same reasons that no one ever told you or her about what happened to Luke._  
  
_Wait a minute...something happened to Luke?  
  
Oops.  
_  
"Open the gifts already. There's still cake and some other stuff that's been planned for the occassion," Storm said, adjusting the camera that she'd set up nearby. It clicked again and the flash nearly blinded them all. "_**New-age technology**_. I hate it."  
  
"It's not that **_new-age_**, Ororo." Tara gave up arguing with any of them and opened the next present, being careful not to rip this one too badly. It was the only one that held promise of being kept or re-used later, though not all the others were completly bad-just most of them. "Are you people on a mission to give me a _heartattack_ or just **freak me out**?"  
  
"Oh my. That's not exactly appropriate..."  
  
"You think, Jubilee?" she demanded, removing the hanger and holding it up. The skimpy strap on one side of the hanger fell free, exposing the rest of the bright red ensemble. It looked more appropriate, size-wise, for the soon-to-be-here child. "Where do you people get your gift ideas? _Stripper 'R Us_?"  
  
" _'Tara, maybe you can actually put something that I've taught you to use. Much Love, Natasha.'_ It's the thought that counts."  
  
"Shut up, Jean."  
  
"_Sexy, red lingerie. Natasha Creed._"  
  
"**Stop narrating, Angel**. Where's the _next_ gift? I highly doubt you people could get any and lingerie."  
  
"Um...the next gift's from...um.." Rogue's hesitation and the funny papers wrapped gift were almost a dead gift especially when she kept the card in her hand rather than give it to her. She frowned. "It could get worse."  
  
"Who's that one from..?"  
  
"It's from me, kid," Nanaki announced, leaning more heavily upon the door beside her. She adjusted her position then re-filled her glass of alcohol and several other liquids. Her attention barely wavered from the glass until she'd taken another drink and licked her lips, beginning to munch on the orange she'd been playing with earlier. "Just open it."  
  
_Oh, God, not anything that I'll have to hide from Logan. Please nothing else like that..._ Tara crossed her fingers then took the present, tearing it open and staring at the box in confusion.  
  
It was a cardboard box about the size of a television box. Inside that one was another box, _smaller_ and _almost covered in tape_ at some places, though inside that was another box. The boxes _continued, growing smaller_ yet yielding _more tape_ with each one. The **final** box couldn't have been any bigger than an office phone, though it had been taped up with electrical tape of so many different colors it was almost invisible beneathe the rainbow.  
  
"Am I _**ever **_supposed to get into this box, Nanaki, or is that just it?" she asked once she got over the shock. Nanaki didn't normally play jokes like this or do such strange things. _It was just...weird._  
  
She nodded, absently taking another drink. "Yep. You'll get into it."  
  
_'Getting into'_ the box turned out to require scissors and a lot of prying with pens and other such objects. It took quite awhile after that to remove all the electrical tape and reveal a plain white box with nothing on it except for the name printed across the top in black lettering. **T-A-R-A**.  
  
Inside the box, rested what looked like the box preganancy tests came in. It was compact and laid in the box with the ease of someone who had entirely too much free time.  
  
"**_Nanaki Celesta Lucifer Creed, did you buy me a preganacy test?!_**" she demanded, removing the box and holding it up. She glared at Nanaki a minute then threw it, aiming for her head and instead hitting the doorway and bouncing off. "I'm _**NOT**_ the one who's pregnant."  
  
Nanaki shook her head and picked up the box, tossing it back.. "Open the box, Tara."  
  
"Oh," was the only thing Tara could manage before opening that box as well. Her mouth fell open for a minute then the sound of the _Mexican Hat Dance_ filled the room along with what sounded like combat boots against the floor. "_What in the hell?!_"  
  
"_Bonjour, femmes_. De stripper is here," a heavily accented cajun voice said, moments before he entered the room and jumped onto the nearby table, beginning to strip. The Mexican Hat Dance continued to play in the back. A brown colored trenchcoat flew across the room and hit her full in the face, stunning her for a moment before anything else registered. "And where is de femme getting married..?"  
  
Tara shoved the jacket aside and stood, throwing it back in his direction. "_FOR GOD'S SAKE, REMY, PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!_" she shrieked then clapped her hands over her eyes.  
  
There was a gasp and another bout of," Oh mah Gawd."  
  
She cracked an eye open and noticed that Angel had her eyes closed and her hands over her stomache, placed where Amethyst's ears might have been. She was mumbling repeatedly while Rogue helped Remy back into his clothes, though several of the other, older, former X-women were staring in fascination at him.  
  
"You hired **Remy** _to strip_..? Are you _out of your mind_?!"  
  
"_I'm scarred for life._ I'll never be able to look at Remy without twitching," Angel mumbled, petting her stomache once more. She glanced at Remy then twitched. "Ugh, _Remy the stripper_."  
  
"Welcome to my life since five, Angel. Remember the _Jubilee and Bobby incident_..?"

Jubilee blushed.

Tara twitched. "**Welcome to my life.**"

* * *

_Zero Consequences 8:15 p.m._  
  
"For he's a jolly good _felloooooooooow_, which nobody can deny!"  
  
Landon nodded and did his best to smile like someone who was enjoying himself, though he would rather have been with Tara. He'd rather have walked out when Remy left except the party had been done just for him; what a lucky guy. Yeah, right.  
  
"Oh, look it's a cake...shaped like..." He tilted his head to the side then glared at Julius and Jax's serious looks. He wanted to kill them both, first for the strange gifts and second for the cake. "It's shaped like a giant..._**armadillo**_."  
  
"It even bleeds red," Julius said with a grimace. He cut into the cake as if to prove his point and sure enough, the cake bled red from the inside outward. "Blame the new chefs..._Angel and Tara_."  
  
"Tara and I are going to have to hire a cook or chef or something if we ever plan to eat again," he said, frowning at the piece of cake before him. It looked as though someone had chopped off the head of the armadillo and placed it on a plate.  
  
"Why do you think I _never_ _eat what Angel cooks after we have a fight_? She probably _couldn't tell the_ _difference_ in **garlic powder** and a bottle of **deadly nightshade**." Julius shook his head and cut off his own piece of cake, smiling at the gooey red insides that fell out and onto the plate. "It actually looks like guts and such..."  
  
"I can't figure out how you people kept your current relationships going for as long as you have," Logan mumbled from the safety of the next room where he sat, drinking what must have been his eighth beer or more. "_Angel can't cook_. _Tara curses like a sailor_. I'm going to stop there because the list is entirely too long, bub. How do you people manage to put up with them?"  
  
"True **lov**e..?"  
  
"I'm **cursed**."  
  
Landon sighed and ate his cake, walking over to the table. He shoved and pushed aside several different presents then removed the top one that he'd been given. Logan's gift. He turned it over a couple of times then shook his head and tossed it onto the table.  
  
_**A restraining order.  
**_  
Logan's gift had been a restraining order that was signed by the local sheriff and initialed by several other members of the former X-men. It also consisted of several different legal things that weren't exactly understandable to him.  
  
Logan snorted and drank some more of his beer, draining the bottle and tossing it onto the floor. It clinked against the other bottles that were piled onto the floor on one side of the room; it rolled over a couple times then came to rest against three more bottles.  
  
"I think you all just need_ to_ _seek therapy_," came his response before he left the room to recieve another beer. The sound of voices accompanied him after a moment, though it was as though there were three or more voices, quite a few voices for only one person having gone into the hall.  
  
"It looks like our _second suprise_ and your _next gift_ **has arrived**," Julius said with a smirk that seemed to have been present all afternoon. For once, Julius was not drinking anything beyond what looked like a glass of coke or something of the like. "Have a seat, Landon."  
  
Jax shoved him into the nearby chair, over stuffed and maroon in color, then whistled toward the doorway.  
  
The sound of _Cherry Pie by Poison_ filtered through the room along with what sounded like a pair of thick heeled heels coming down the hall, accompanied by something that sounded like laughing. Probably Logan.  
  
"I swear if this is what I think it is..." Landon left the threat hanging then couldn't keep a straight face at the image that greeted him once the **_hired stripper_** appeared.  
  
_I wonder if Jax was aware of this when he signed her on?_ he thought, grinning until he saw the look on Logan's face. It was a cross between anger and amusement at their situation. _Jax should really see this..._  
  
"**_NATASHA ELIZABETH CREED!_**"  
  
"Oh, Good Lord. Hi, Jax," Natasha greeted, wrapping her arms around herself and smiling in an at ease way. The stiffness she'd adapted and the goosebumps that had come up on her arms were a sign that she wasn't quite so at ease. "Um...so this is _Landon's _bachelor party..? It's really, uh...nice."  
  
"You are in **so much** _trouble_."  
  
Landon shook his head and removed a cigarette, lighting it and placing it into his mouth. He inhaled then held the smoke for a minute before blowing it out.  
  
_This might actually get interesting.  
_  
"**You**, come on. I think those _two_ need to _finish their conversation_ and there's a _lecture we need to have_..." Logan held out one hand then helped him up, putting one arm almost around his shoulders and walking outside with him. "If you even **_THINK_** about hurting Tara, I'll chop you into bits and hide you beneathe the floorboards. _What do you think happened to Luke?_"  
  
He swallowed, putting the cigarette back to his mouth and sucking on the end. He didn't think he wanted to know about Luke except he thought he remembered something about the name.  
  
_Maybe Angel or Tara had mentioned it...?_  
  
"_Uh, who's Luke?_" he asked again after another drag off the cigarette. It had vanished rather quickly and after a moment was stepped out beneathe his sneaker. The sneakers themselves looked as though they'd been burned in several places and had seen better days.  
  
"Tara's last boyfriend. A child molester. We took care of him, bub...get the picture..?"  
  
Logan's smile was _**paternal and highly threatening**_. The threat wasn't required especially thanks to the tone of voice he'd taken and his entirely too vicious expression.  
  
"Right. In fact, I think Tara and I have some plans to make about our wedding now...tell Jax and Julius that I, uh, **had to run**."  
  
_Maybe we should elope in Mexico._  
  
Landon banished the thought after another moment of considering it. It would take away the stress of_ Logan and Nanaki's death threats_, **Jean's wedding planning**, and the fact of having to put up with his and her friends, _one_ of which is **pregnant** and the other _father_ of the **child.**  
  
_Mexico...Mexico...I wonder how much plane tickets to Mexico cost? Maybe Canada could become an option..._


	11. The Best Laid Plans of Jean and the XMen

**Chapter Eleven: The Best Laid Plans of the X-Men and Jean...**

"This is terrible! You looklike you're ready for a night of bar singing rather than a wedding!" Jean wailed, gazing at the green-skinned, silver dress cladadult that stood on top of a stool for their inspection. Her eyes almost bugged out as the dress rustled to the side to show a view of oversized combat style boots. "_Tara Toynbee, what are those?_"

Tara glanced down then shrugged. "My shoes. I hate those little high-heeled things with the spiked heels and criss-crossed straps; these are sensible shoes for a wedding," she explained, turning to the side to examine herself. "What do you think, Angel?"

"_Tres beautiful, cherie_," came the response from the next room. The words were followed by a yelp of pain and the sound of a cookie sheet hitting the counter. "I hate cookies!"

"Sugah, why are you making cookies in the first place?" Rogue's disembodied voice demanded from the next room, the kitchen. There was a second yelp of pain then the sound of a couple of swear words. "At least _this batch_ isn't burned beyond recognition."

Tara shook her head. _Best not to question_, she thought, turning to the side to view the dress from different angles at Nanaki's urgings. Her brows rose then knitted together in concentration. _Maybe the boots are too extreme. I'll ask Landon for his input later...maybe Logan, too..._

"This is terrible. After all my planning, you're still going to manage to _**ruin this wedding**_," Jean wailed in anguish, staring at the mirror with such contempt that it cracked. It could have been caused by her telekenesis but the crack spiraled down the length of the mirror, running to it's very edges. "How can you do this to _your_ wedding day? It should be a memorial day that _you'll_ never forget!"

Nanaki rolled her eyes and adjusted her position against the door, yawning, briefly.

"How much about your wedding do you remember?" Angel asked a fter coming into the room. One of her hands was bandaged in white gauze and turning slightly blue at the tips. "I mean, besides the fact that it almost didn't happen..."

Jean sniffed, irritatedly. "I know you two monsters almost scared the preacher off and ruined my wedding," she said, emphasizing the my part. She took another drink from the glass of liquor that was resting on the nearby counter. "I'm simply trying to make sure that there isn't a repeat of events with the wedding. I'd hate for your wedding to be ruined, Tara..."

"Nice to see _you_ _realize_d that it was _my wedding_."

"Mom! Mom! **MOM!**" The single syllable word rang out from the garage then the door banged open and against the wall, chipping a little of the door paint. The noise and destruction were accompanied by Santiago Toynbee who held what looked like a bleeding squirrel up in one hand. "I brought a present for Aunt Tara. Where is she?" he demanded, holding the dead squirrel up for their inspection.

Tara shook her head, chuckling quietly. "Thanks, Santiago. I'll be sure and have Logan make a giant pot of _squirrel_ for the wedding," she said with a straight face. She had the idea that squirrel might be a unique thing for the wedding especially since she'd already gotten a silver dress, combat boots, half a dozen mutants in attendance, and a wedding singer that suffered from a split personality.

_Squirrel, indeed._

"No, there will be no serving squirrel at this wedding nor will Nanaki be playing the wedding singer...we're getting a **professional**." Jean downed the rest of her glass then filled it to the halfway mark once more, draining the glass again before focusing on Tara. Her eyes had lost most of their normality and gone into an almost wild-eyed insanity look. "Someone _cheap and good_."

"The description _still fits _Nanaki."

"Does anyone want cookies?" Angel asked from out of nowhere, beginning work on the baby blanket that she'd started making sometime in the last month. It was black and olive green with little boxes that met in the center to form a chain of dark colored links that made a circle. For once, something Angel made didn't look so bad.

Tara shook her head, using Nanaki's hand to get down from the stool then going into the next room. She changed quickly, trading the wedding dress for a pair of worn-in jeans and an over-sized black t-shirt that had once belonged to Landon before she'd confiscated it. The combat boots were replaced with a pair of scuffed up sneakers that were falling apart at the seams in several places.

"Nanaki, have you got any idea what you're planning to sing during the wedding? It has to be appropriate." The sound of Jean's voice greeted her upon her return to the somewhat packed living room. In the last couple of hours, the sound of Jean's voice had begun to grate on her nerves, giving her a headache that wouldn't stop. "Remember that there's a song dedicated to both the bride and the groom from each other."

"Jean, I had my own wedding. I think I know how they go, okay? You'll be lucky if Celesta doesn't make an appearance at the wedding or right now because of how much you're badgering me," came the response through a mouthful of cookie and alcohol. "Leave the songs to be sung at the wedding and receptionto Tara and myself. We'll figure it out....you're getting aggravating, Jean."

"I just want to make sure this wedding goes right. Is that too much to ask?"

"With you planning it? _Yes_." Landon came into the room, shielding his eyes for a minute then looked up. He blinked several times. "I had to make sure everyone was decent. Angel, Julius wants to have a talk outside when you're finished..."

"He'll have to wait. I'm making a blanket for Amy, aren't I, _sweetie_?" Angel asked, petting her stomache once more than returning her attention to the beginning to take shape blanket. For some reason or other, she began to hum, though it sounded more like the melody to a Black Sabbath song than a lullabye for a child. "Where is Julius at, Landon?"

Tara heard the audible sigh from her fiance and leaned over to kiss him. "Just answer her questions and she'll shut up," she advised after a minute going into the kitchen and starting on a mug of something or other. She poured some type of mixture into the steaming water then stuck it back into the microwave and pushed a couple of buttons.

"Outside. He has something to do for our employer but wanted to talk to you..."

Jean sniffed, disdainfully. "And is this the _same employer_ from before?" she asked with another disdainful sniff.

"Yep. Apocalypse."

_What does it matter who he works for? At least he never went evil unlike someone else... He never tried to kill his friends or the people that he always professed to care about_, Tara thought, glaring down at the mug of cocoa she'd begun making. She stuck a spoon into the concoction and began to stir with a furious speed that sloshed some of it out of the mug.

_Stop projecting before Jean picks up on it._

_Shut up, Angel. I hope she does pick up on it. Why don't you go talk to Julius? I bet it's important..._

_Bet it's not._

_Shut up and go talk to your baby Daddy._

_Bite me_, came Angel's reply but the funniest part was when she actually stood and walked out of the room, taking the half of her daughter's blanket that had been sewn with her. There was silence after the door slammed then the sound of arguing voices.

Tara shook her head and came back into the front room with her mug of cocoa. She added a couple of marshmallows from a rather large back of mini ones that had been sitting on the counter, closed with a twist tie, then walked to Landon.

"You have a reason for being here or else **you wouldn't** be _within fifty feet_ of Jean," she pointed out, hearing the truth in her own words. She sipped from her cup then almost choked on it when Landon took her arm and all but yanked her into the next room, Angel and Julius' bedroom, and slammed the door in their wake. "Are you okay, honey? That was rather...abrupt.."

He placed his hand over her mouth and shook his head. "Just listen and don't think, okay?" He waited until she nodded then continued, keeping his hand pressed over her mouth, firmly. "We're eloping in **Mexico** and if Jean doesn't like it, well, she can just learn to get over it. I don't want to get married under hers or Logan's thumb. If you really want the real bit, we can take the neccessary ones with us, alright? That defines mostly just Angel, Julius, Natasha, Jax, Logan, _**if**_ we must..."

She shook her head, furiously then pulled his hand away from her mouth, matching his quiet tone. "It won't work. There's some people here who can't be excluded from our wedding and number two, Nanaki would kill me for running off," she pointed out, taking another sip from her mug. She shook her head, smiling and almost laughing at him. "Why have you suddenly taken a real interest in my previous want to run off to **Mexico** and elope?"

"I got tired of everyone else planning this thing. Apocalypse expects and invitation and I don't think Angel and Julius can make the cermony without fighting or hurting one another," he said, leaning his full weight against the door behind him even though it had been locked.

_Who could ask for better friends? I've got a fiance who finally took me serious about eloping in Mexico, one friend's pregnant, one friend's a stripper in her own club, and neither one shows signs of getting married or helping me pull off my wedding. Oh, how I love these people._

Landon frowned and straightened, unlocking the door but not opening it. "You really think we can live through this or should I spring for tickets to **Mexico**?" was his only spoken question.

She thought a minute then smiled and nodded. "How about you spring for the tickets and we'll spend a week or so there? The only stipulation is we've got to be back in time for Amy's birth... Is that workable?" Tara questioned him, putting her arms around his neck and hugging him.

"Yeah. Did they ever figure out the _full name_ for that kid...?"

Tara nodded after opening the door then told him the name right before they entered the living. "Amethyst Miranda Kanteon. Cute, huh?"

"Those two should be shot. Poor girl."

"At least they're calling her Amy and giving her Julius' last name..."

"Yeah, I'd hate to see another minature angel," Landon mumbled with a shudder. In response, Tara smacked the back of his head, rather hard and glared.

"That's my best friend you're talking about."

"...It's true, though, isn't it?"

She was silent for a minute then nodded. "Yeah, it's true. Now, _**get out**_. The wedding's tomorrow and we have to finish some last minute reservations or whatever. Relax, this is work for Nanaki, not Jean...." She walked with him to the door then mumbled a curse word before darting back into one of the bedrooms. She returned with an envelope that said nothing except Mr. Apocalypse; the invitation to their wedding. "Give that to your employer. He can't ruin the wedding any worse than Jean had already..."

"Are you sure?"

"....bye, Landon."

The door slammed in his face, and he was left holding a letter in one hand and staring at the wooden door with a confused expression. He shook his head and opened the envelope reading over the information written there then shook his head again, sealing it up.

**One day.**

* * *

**THE BIG DAY**

"I'm having a problem with thinking right now. Would you leave my hair alone, Jean?!" Tara's voice split the almost silent, newly converted into a dressing room bedroom at the institute. She all but jumped down from the stool and began pacing the length of the room, barely avoiding tripping thanks to the oversized combat boots under her dress's hem.

Angel watched her from one of the chairs, adjusting her position so that her hands were resting more evenly against her stomache. She didn't move or seem even the slightest bit worried, unlike the others who were bouncing around like mother hens.

"He's not going to backout of marrying you, Tara. _Sit down_," she commanded, nodding toward another vacant chair.

Tara glared at her. "I never said he would, but he might decide to do the whole elope in **Mexico** thing and if I don't meet him at the airport, he'll get the wrong idea," she ranted, beginning to repeat quite a lot and mumbled to the point of being almost unhearable. She continued ranting and raving to herself but loud enough for them to hear. "Maybe if he'd taken me seriously at the first suggestion of **Mexico**..."

"Forget any plans to elope in **Mexico**," Jean said with a threatening look in their direction.

"Fine. We'll just honeymoon there."

"_I forbid it!_ You're going to Alaska because I've already gotten the tickets, Tara Toynbee."

"Alaska?! I hate ---" The sentence never finished itself. Someone's fist hit the door a couple of times then there was a loud whistle. "What!"

Logan's voice echoed into the room. "It's time, kid. Everything's ready," Logan said through the door, knocking once more than walking away from the sound of his footsteps. His footsteps echoed down the hall then into the front room, stopping to wait for them.

"We'll see you in a few minutes, Tara. Remember, smile!" Jean pasted an overly large smile across her face then pranced out of the room with the others.

Tara stared after them a minute then hurried to the door. "Angel, can you come back here a minute? Please... it's really important."

"Alright. I'm not talking you out of marrying him or talking you into eloping in **Mexico**. You missed both of those chances already," Angel replied after entering the room. She blinked, slightly when the door was abruptly slammed shut behind her, slammed shut and held shut. "Hon, you don't look so good..."

"Is it okay to be nervous, Angel? **I think** there's _army men having a drunken party_ in my stomache..."

There was shrug from Angel. "Never been married before or even tried. I wouldn't know, but it seems you want to marry him or you would have given in to Logan's pressure or stopped the wedding plans when Jean started planning, right?" she offered with a vague smile. "We're already twenty mintues late in starting the ceremony so let's go before the guests walk out..."

"Thanks, Angel. I don't think you helped me any but thanks..."

"What else am I good for? You can answer that honestly since I'm already aware of the answer. Now let's go already..."

Tara met Logan at the door that led to the re-done backyard of the institute. She noticed that despite the scowl and mumbled "_about time_" he offered, that there was something almost prideful in his expression especially when he caught sight of the oversized combat boots that ran up her ankle and were tied into a thick knot at the top.

Logan raised his eyebrows until they made little furrows in his forehead.

"I'd rather be prepared in case this thing doesn't go right...or _something goes wrong_..." She smiled as the wedding prescesion started then turned her head to the side to see her guardian of going on eighteen years. "I also had to keep some part of you around for the wedding... combat boots with a wedding dress fit right into your idea of thinking..."

He shook his head. "I always knew you were stupider than you played yourself off," he said, showing his usual self rather than the often unresponsive mute that had replaced him over the last few weeks. He even refused to discuss anything that dealt with her impending marriage.

The wedding march came next and she forgot what she was supposed to do until Logan took one of her arms. She jumped a minute then settled down and walked down the aisle beside him, scanning the different faces that had come for the wedding. Their _**'kitty'**_ had come for the wedding, Magneto had returned from his Sabbatical, and the Professor himself had returned from the almost permanent vacation on the beachers of Jamaica. Jean cringed every time one of her feet hit the floor; whether it was real or in her imagination, she heard the heavy thump of her boots against the stone steps that led to the self-created Gazebo.

"Breathe, kid, or you won't live through this."

"If you can't say anything helpful, Logan, shut up," came her quiet response before they reached the priest who would be marrying them, Landon, and the other members of their wedding party. She managed a half smile when Logan kissed her on the cheek, said his one line about giving her or whatever, and took his seat on the side of the chair set-up for the friends of the bride.

The entire side held significantly more people than the groom's, whose side held only Apocalypse, Julius, Landon, Jax, Angel, and Natasha, all of who seemed much too distracted. There was also a rather large, white cat curled up on Apocalypse's lap and head resting in the crook of his arm, though the tail twitched and the eyes darted back and forth between them, watching everything.

Tara didn't know much of what happened during the cermony except that they'd recieved a hissing objection that had been overruled by Landon and the priest. She'd glanced once toward her side of the wedding attenders and glared at Logan and Jean, seeing that both looked ready to stand up with a complaint or reason the wedding couldn't happen. Scott had a hankercheif up to his face and appeared to be on the verge of crying.

The worse part of the cermony came after they finished the ring exchanging, as the priest was finishing up their vows and starting the last passage of the cermony. "By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now..."

That's when the rain started.

Huge, thundering drops that were accompanied by several rumbles and thunder. Several of the more normal people jumped up and hurried away from the scene and toward the institute; the priest looked ready to bolt at any minute, a bad sign.

_Great, another omen. Rain and now this..._

The priest continued despite the rain that was soaking everything and ruining Jean's carefully crafted decoractions. "...pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride," he finished then ran off, making it inside even before they'd officially kissed. There was brief applause but Tara didn't have to look to know who had stayed outside through the end of the wedding.

"**Alright, Landon!** It's about time!" Julius' voice carrired the furthest, though it was accompanied by Angel's laughter and the sound of scattered clapping.

"_Tara finally got herself married and can finally get laid_," Natasha announced, hurrying up to her and hugging her along with Angel. The hug was a somewhat tight fit especially with Angel's stomache creating a rather large bulge in the middle. "Do we get details later..?"

"**Like hell.**"

"Are you idiots planning to get pnemonia and die or come in here and attend the wedding reception?" It was Nanaki who broke up the group hug and scattered applaused and whistles that continued to come from Landon's side. There was an amused hint to her voice, but it wasn't obvious to someone who didn't know her that well. "Your guests are starting to wonder if you've been struck by lightening..."

"Tell them _**yes**_," Landon said, coming over to take one of her hands, "Ready to go, Tara? Remember we have to visit **Mexico** after this..."

"**Mexico**? We're going to **MEXICO**?! Oh, I love you, I love you, I love you!" Tara threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, barely acknowleding things when their friends took off at a ran toward the mansion, skidding across the wet marble and almost falling. "I always wanted to go to **Mexico**."

"Yeah.... I forgot to tell you, Apocalypse is paying for the entire ordeal, including our hotel and any meals we'll have while there, no matter where we go."

"Does this come with a stipulation, Landon..?"

"Um...what do you mean?"

"Is there a job for you in **Mexico**...?"

Landon shrugged. "It's small one that'll only take one day, four hours at the most...." His words were cut off when the cluster of flowers that had been in Tara's arms _hit him straight in the face_ then she stomped off. "It was a joke, Tara! Would you really have such a problem with my having a job on our honeymoon? _Tara_? **Tara**...? **_TARA!_**"


	12. A Wedding to Remember

_Disclaimer: Marvel owns, I don't. I wouldn't advise sueing since I never have money; I ain't even got a job, imagine that. Unrecognizable characters belong to one of the following people: myself, Takamo, or another friend (she knows who she __is and her name changes entirely too much to keep it straight)._

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: A Wedding to Remember**

"Tara, why are you giving him the cold shoulder? I thought you wanted to marry him."

Tara ignored Logan's repeated questions. It wasn't really any of his business why she wasn't talking to Landon; he didn't even like the guy all that much. "I thought you were going to be quiet and not speak to me during this whole thing?" she asked, listening to the sound of Nanaki's singing from the makeshift stage that had been set up. At the moment, she was singing some song that wasn't known to Tara but that was alright, too.

Logan shook his head. "I'd really like to know if I should start making plans to have him killed," he said, tightening his hold on her hand when she would have walked away, "You two seemed to be doing just fine when you were _outside catching pnemonuia_, along with the** other idiots** of _your generation_."

"Apocalypse is paying for our honeymoon, but Landon has to work during it. He didn't even tell me! I'm his new wife, previously his fiancee, and his girlfriend even before that! I have a right to know," she fumed before one of Logan's hands covered her mouth, holding it shut.

"You're sounding like Jean."

_Oh no, I'm turning into Jean._

"Now, why does it bother you so much that he'd planning to work while you're in...wherever the hell you two are going. Do you think he's not going to pay as much attention to you if he's working?"

Tara nodded then removed his hand from her mouth before adjusting her hand back into his. "I just don't want him to spend the entire time _doing things that are illegal_ and then _getting arrested _and _before you know it_, _I'm married to a guy in prison_!" she said then hurriedly lowered her voice when several people glanced at them.

"Where are you two planning to go, anyway?" he asked, looking at something over her shoulder and slightly to the left. There was a distracted edge to his voice but she didn't have to look to know he was watching Jean and Scott dance; he'd been doing it for most of the night.

"**Mexico**. You'll find someone, Logan," she said, leaning up to wrap her arms around his neck. She gave him a hug then felt someone hovering bbehind her and slightly to the left. A quick, side glance showed that it was Landon.

"Mind if I dance with _my_ wife, Logan?" The words weren't really a request but more a stated command, though Logan pretended to ignore it. Instead of causing an unneccessary problem, he stepped back and turned her toward Landon.

"She's all yours. Remember the present I gave you before, though..."

Landon nodded and waited a minute before taking Logan's place. He moved her arms so that they were resting around his neck rather than hanging at her sides like limp spaghetti; he placed his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. She continued to focus over his shoulder in an attempt to ignore him. His punishment for their conversation outside.

"Are you just going to ignore me, Tara?" he asked, rubbing a few strands of her hair between his fingers. He waited but when she didn't answer, pulled on her hair to make her look up. "I hope you're not planning to ignore me through our entire reception..."

"You deserve it," she replied, frowning over his shoulder and pulling her head away.

Landon sighed. "I won't do it if you're that uncomfortable with it. I only took the offer because I knew you wanted to visit **Mexico** and it seemed like a good deal; plus the deal didn't even involve anything illegal," he told her, trying to tune out the sound of Nanaki's voice.

The previous song had vanished to be replaced by _Happy Together_ by a group that's name eluded him at the time.

"I do want to go to **Mexico**, but it was supposed to be just us without you working for that damn Apocalypse who can't even spell his own name. I mean, how do you think he learned to spell it? _A-P-O-C-A-L-P-S_... that's _not_ how you _spell_ **_Apocalypse_**!" Tara began to fum and spell out different words under her breathe until she realized that her mouth was pressed against the shoulder of a blue tuxedo that belonged to Landon. She never got to finish fumming and spelling different words that were nowhere close to Apocalypse.

"Why don't we take off early? I doubt anyone will even miss us and it'll give us more time to..." He leaned down and whispered into her ear, saying the words too quiet for anyone to hear but a glance over his shoulder showed that her friends understood it.

Natasha gave her a thumbs up and Angel simply shook her head disapprovingly, turning to the side so she could speak with Julius.

_Whatever you're thinking isn't true, Angel Blade-Lebeau!_

_Uh-huh. And you think I ended up eight months pregnant from just listening to some guy sweet talk? Yeah, right. Stop being naive, Tara Keller._

_I hate his last name. It's so stupid... Can I keep my own last name?_

Tara sighed and rested her head against Landon's shoulder, allowing him to lead the majority of their dance. Nanaki seemed to be wasting a lot of time on one song, though since it continued over and over again, chorus mostly.

Their wedding had been planned for August except there'd been _complications with the church_, **hospitializations of different wedding participants**, _fights that had broken out_ between different groups, and **Angel's attempts to help **with the wedding. The only help she'd provided had been in the department of helping with the food, though most of the self-created entrees had been thrown out except Logan's squirrel stew hadn't been harmed.

There was something like a shriek of rage from the stage, followed by Nanaki's microphone hitting the ground, and complete and utter silence throughout the church's fellowship hall. Everyone had turned to stare at the stage where Nanaki was glaring, intently at a tall, blonde figure that seemed to be incredibly hairy who stood just to the left of Angel and Julius.

_Not him. Anyone but him_, Tara thought then sighed when she caught a glimpse of his face. She tightened her arms around Landon's neck and pushed slightly so he'd turn around. It didn't work so she had to push harder, slamming her elbow into the back of his neck with more force than she meant. _Nanaki's about to have a breakdown..._

Landon turned and cringed. "Wanna make a break for **Mexico** before this turns into a scene from Fight Club?" he asked, bending his mouth close to her ear but keeping an eye on the scene that was forming at the edge of the false stage. He looked worried when he realized that Nanaki had gotten off the stage and was yelling at her uncle; their words were now inaudible from this distance.

"I don't _want_ to leave the others with this especially..." she mumbled the last part without looking way from the stage and her friends who had gathered at one side of the stage. She hesitated a minute then dropped her arms to her side. "Let's go. I'd rather pretend that our wedding went off without a hitch except the rain, Logan's threatening your life, the whole **Mexico** arguement, and I'd rather miss out on Nanaki and her uncle attempting to kill each other..."

He nodded and started toward the door, keeping a firm grip on her hand as they made their way through the crowd and toward the back exit door of the church. They'd barely reached the door when Logan blocked the way, leaning against the side of the door and just staying there.

"You two weren't planning walk out before all the fun now, were you?" he drawled, chomping on the end of a cigarette in an exaggarated fashion. He motioned toward the inside of the fellowship. "Don't you want to stay and see how your reception turns out?"

"Not really. Nanaki's about to kill Sabertooth; aren't you the least bit concerned?" Tara demanded, more as a way to make him more than anything else. She felt Landon tighten his hold on her wrist, slightly. "You're a _**good father**,_ Logan."

"A _**really good**_ one," Landon agreed, grinning, broadly at him.

Logan shook his head. "It's not going to work. Go back to your reception..."

"Logan..."

"No whining, kid. You either," he added, directing the words toward Landon's half open mouth. He nodded with his head toward the crowd of people gathered together without even halting in the chomping of his cigar. "Go enjoy your wedding ceremony."

"Why are _you _doing this to us?" Tara demanded, glowering at Logan. She crossed her arms over her chest then stalked off, leaving Landon standing there. There was a bunch of mumbling then she went back to whining, although this time to a different person. "Please, Mort... I don't want to stay and Logan's making us. Please, Mort. Pleeeeease, _Mort._ **Mort?** **_Mort...?_**"

"Shh, I'm watching my wife. I love it when she beats people up especially him."

Tara growled. "...but it's _my _wedding! Why does **she** get to beat people up at _**MY** _wedding, Mort?" she demanded then waited a good ten minutes without recieving an answer. "Fine, I'll just go find a better way to spend my time rather than at this stupid reception that Jean insisted on throwing and that was just ruined by Sabretooth; **thanks for the support, Mort!**"

"Welcome."

"This is **bullshit**!"

"Love you, too, Tara."

* * *

_**X-Mansion: **_

_**November 24 , 7:30 p.m.**_ _(A month and a half after the wedding)_

"This is so good, Rogue. How did you make it? I think I need to get the recipe so Tara and I don't starve... there's hardly any food in our house except a couple canned goods and a loaf of bread." Landon picked up the fried chicken on his plate and took another bite, ignoring the glare he'd just gotten from his wife of a month and a half. He quickly distracted himself with asking Remy to pass him something from the other end of the table.

"I'm not making fried chicken because _you_ already _compain_ about _almost everything_ I've ever gotten for dinner, **even take-out food**," Tara fumed, biting into a biscuit then taking an oversized drink from her glass.

Angel stirred her food around with one fork then adjusted her free hand against her stomache. She didn't want anyone to worry but there's been pains in her stomache for the last half hour or more, though it was starting to get worse. The only one who kept looking at her stangely was Jean, though the others glanced over every now and then.

"Are you feeling okay, Demon?" Julius asked for the twelth time, giving her a truely concerned look, "You're not eating everything in sight for once."

She shook her head, slowly and dropped her fork. "Actually, no. I think I might be having a labor pains... or have been having them," she said, resting her hand against her basketball poking out stomache. She rubbed her hand in a brief circle then started to stand, doubling over after a moment. "Okay, maybe we should go to the hospital..."

Julius blinked then shrugged. "Let me finish eating and then I'll take you, alright?" he said, shoveling more food into his mouth and chewing it for longer than was neccessary.

There was silence down the length of the table, lined with former X-Men, their children or others who had been adopted in, and a good half of the brotherhood members, minus Sabretooth and Mystique. No one even moved or blinked, moved the fork between their plate and mouth, or even finished their conversation.

"Why's everyone staring at me?" he asked after a quick glance up and swallowing of his food. His eyes moved around the table then dropped on Remy who had a charged card, Scott whose hand was on his visor, and Logan had the blades of one hand out and was standing. "There's still two weeks until her due date. Right, I'll take my _pregnant_ **girlfriend** to the hospital. Sheesh, you people are so touchy..."

"Julius, I think Animal has decided to come early." Angel forced her voice to sound even whinier than normal; the task wasn't as hard for her as it would be for others. "Would you move your ass, _chere_?" she demanded, hand still against her stomache.

"Shut up a minute. It's gonna take a bit to get to the hospital... Where's your bag? You know, the one we packed for when this happened...?"

She glared. "Our apartment, _stupid_, or did you think I'd be prepared just in case Amy wanted to pop out and celebrate Thanksgiving with us? Sorry to disappoint you!"

"You're not very nice for being preganant."

"And you're not very helpful for a soon-to-be father!"

* * *

_**8:45 p.m.**_

_TRI-ACADEMY HOSPITAL_

"Why are you just standing out here?"

Julius stopped in mid-pace then offered Remy the blankest, I'm-stupid look he could before voicing his response. "I didn't know I was supposed to do something else other than pace the waiting room and wait for some doctor to come out," he said, frowning at them all before pacing again.

Remy shook his head. "Let me give you a tip, _mon ami_, either go help _mon ange_ deliver de _chile_ or...y'can have a talk with Mr. Cards and Mr. Metal Blade Thingys," he offered, charging a card and placing it close to Julius' face. "Get de picture, _mon ami_?"

"Do I have to?"

There was silence for a moment then a group shout of, "**_YES!_**"

_Why did I have to get involved with a family of psychos? Stupid, stupid, stupid, Julius. You were stupid._

"Are you the father?" a doctor asked, coming out of one room and looking around the halls. His dark blue eyes focused on Julius then he hurried over, mumbling several things to himself. "Are you the father or not?"

"No. I mean, yes.... if the kid's mine, I am."

"Riiight. You'll do; put this and the gloves on then meet me inside," the doctor said then took off back into the room, shoving a bundle of clothes into his arms. He didn't even look back but instead walked straight through the doors and toward the very obvious sound of Angel cursing.

He changed into the medical garbs and pulled on his gloves then walked into the room, cringing at the sound of Angel's voice. Most of her words weren't understandable but ther ewas more than one language, including French words that were pronounced wrong and correctly pronounced Spanish words.

"Angel, _honey_, stop yelling at the nice nurses and doctor," he admonished her, coming up to her side and offering one of his hands to her. He regretted it the moment he felt how much pressure she applied and the fact that several of the nurses' hands had bruised up on the side. "Ow, too much pressure, Angel!"

"When you have a kid and only get the minimal amount of drugs, you can complain about too much pressure, Kanteon!" Angel almost shrieked at him, gripping his hand tigther. She swore several more times in wrongfully pronounced French.

"We need your help down here," the doctor said, motioning with one hand. He didn't even look up but just motioned and spoke.

_I've never done this before. What am I supposed to do?_ he wondered as he walked toward the doctor who had motioned him over. He didn't really want to see this entire ordeal even if it meant four things: he'd be a father, Angel's mood swings would cease, he wouldn't have to worry about her throwing random fits, and he could stop feeling like the entire pregnancy had been his fault.

One look at where the doctor showed him and the sight of a pinkish-red head, and Julius fainted, falling back against the hard flooring and missing the birth of his daughter.

* * *

**November 25, 1:25 a.m.**

Angel smiled. "Amethyst Miranda Kanteon. I think it's about time your daddy woke up, don't you?" she asked, rubbing her daughter's small hand. She studied the baby, openly, taking in the fact that she had a mop of black hair, even at a few hours old. She wasn't sure of the eyes but the nurse had said something was weird about it.

_Please don't let my little girl have something wrong with her_, she thought, looking over at Julius. He was laid out on his back, still knocked out and had been since shortly before their daughter had been born. It was almost cute, almost.

"We'll just have to wake Daddy up our own, won't we, _sweetie_?" She leaned over and picked up the first avaliable item, a hand buzzer that wasn't connected to the bed. She adjusted her daughter to the other side of the bed then threw the buzzer at him with all the strength she could manage. It hit his chest and bounced onto the floor.

Julius didn't even stir.

"Julius!"

No response.

"JULIUS AUGUSTUS KANTEON!!"

He stirred then opened his eyes, looking in her direction. "What, Angel? I see that you finally allowed me to sleep but it was short lived and when did the roof get white?" he asked, blinking several times then noticing the change in the room. "Wait a minute.... where's the baby?"

Angel rolled her eyes. "I sold her to the circus that took Kurt when he was little. It seemed in her best interest that she wasn't raised among the insanity that we were all raised in," she said, matter-of-factly.

"You **WHAT**?!"

His loud voice woke their daughter who quickly turned into a wailing, squirming bundle against her arm. The child had a set of lungs that could almost rival Banshee; her tiny face turned slightly redder in color as she wailed.

"Thanks, Julius, and I'd just gotten her to sleep," she sighed, shifting Amethyst up to rest against her chest and rubbing her back in slow circles. She hummed quietly for a moment then smiled when her daughter calmed, greatly but didn't fall back asleep. "Voice down. I'm glad you were so helpful during this, Julius. I'll remember that in case we, for whatever idiotic reason, decide to have another one..."

"Can I hold her?" Julius asked, ignoring her sarcasm as he stared at his daughter.

Angel nodded and passed her into his arms, smiling slightly at the sight of the small infant in his arms. "The nurse wanted to take her to the nursery, but I thought you should see her. Isn't she beautiful, Julius?" she asked with a smile that showed she wasn't fully awake.

Julius had to admit the kid was cute. One of her eyes was bluish colored while the other matched the gray of his own; her left eye was bound to stay gray while the right would probably turn to the green of Angel's. There was a mop of black hair covering her head, straight and without a single curl to it. At the moment, she was wrapped in nothing but blankets, though he could tell that there wasn't a thing unusual about her except for her different colored eyes.

"Do you think she'll be a mutant, Julius?" The question was so unexpected and quietthat he didn't answer right away. He counted different things, fingers and toes mostly, and studied her, trying to judge from a first look. "...Jean once said that most children of parents who are both mutants turn out normal. Is that true?"

He didn't know but decided to lie for her benefit.

"Yeah, it's true. There's nothing wrong with our daughter, Angel," he said after returning the baby to her arms. He studied the two for a moment then developed a quizzical expression. "What does her birth certificate say...?"

"..Amethyst Miranda Kanteon..."

"_You_ named her that, without consulting _me_?!"

"What did you think Amy was short for?"

"I thought her name was going to be Amy..."

"Nope, Amethyst Miranda Kanteon."

Julius sighed. "Can it be changed?" he asked with a frown, thinking of his poor little girl having to go through life with the name Amethyst.

"Nope. It's written in ink."

"Damn!"

"Don't curse around _my_ baby."

"**_My_** baby, too, Angel."

"Then don't curse around Amy."

"Damn, hell, OW! Stop throwing things at me..."


	13. Epilogue

**Epilogue: 3 Years, 5 Months Later**

"I figured y'all would be living on the **Mexico** border by now, helping fugitives get their Green Card and teaching Mexican kids how to speak English." Tara almost grimaced, more at her friend's words then the amused tone of voice she'd adopted. She rested her head against the window frame behind her and shook her head.

"Just because Landon and I spent two and a half months in **Mexico** and take regular vacations there, every other month, does not mean that we'd be living there or helping fugitives get their Green cards or teaching Mexican kids how to speak English," she pointed out, glowering across the yard in the direction of the kids that were running around. "At least Umeko knows only _one _language and _not seven_ different languages."

Angel made a face and wrapped her arms around Julius' neck, giving him a half hug, though his head was more even with her stomache since she was standing. For once, he responded by putting his arms around her waist and hugging her back. Both of them had gotten to be, strangely comfortable with showing some form of affection to each other since their daughter's birth three years prior.

Angel and Julius had tested out seeing other people for the first year and half of their daughter's life. It became _painfully obvious _to them bothafter that amount of time that hardly anyone else could put up with them. He'd proposed at the beginning of October, they'd married the following Halloween, and officially became parents to Amethyst.

"Can I help it if Amy's a tape recorder?" she asked, watching the dark haired three-year-old that was romping along with another child and apuppy that would have been equal to her heigth if he'd stood on his back paws.

One of Amethyst's eyes had remained gray while the other had simply darkened until it turned the green of her mother's, though the single oddity made her more endearing. For being so young, she was taller than most children and overly hyper even without the added effects of the sugar filled treats that Remy often gave her. She'd developed Angel's looks outside of the single gray eye and how dark her hair was but otherwise behaved much like her father except for the tape recording.

The three-year-old picked up everything that was said and often repeated it to any adults who were willing to listen or her playmates. Her latest recording had consisted of one of her parents fights, complete with swear words and other languages, namely French.

Tara shrugged. "Maybe you should watch _your_ language around her," she suggested after checking to be sure Logan wasn't around. She seemed to be getting into trouble a lot lately for the lack of cursing that she'd passed onto hers and Landon's offspring.

"Mommy, lookit!" The plaintive voice echoed from across the yard where Amethyst and her puppy, Silas, were running in circles around a tree. Umeko pointed then clapped her hands. "Puppy 'tacks."

"That's nice, _sweetie_. Why don't you and Amy leave the puppy alone for a bit, okay?" she asked with a smile.

There was a seven-month gap between Amethyst's birth date and Umeko's. Unlike her friend's too early pregnancy and lack of marriage, Tara had learned she was pregnant after their return from their first trip to Mexico, their honeymoon. Eight months later, she'd gone into labor and given birth to the little terror that even now preferred to yell _'ribbit ribbit'_ rather than speak normal English or any other language.

Umeko's hair was lighter than Landon's but cut until it somewhat mirrored the little Spanish girl off of some cartoon that she'd seen too many times. Big, hazel eyes stared at most people until they were made uncomfortable, though her ribbitting worried more people than the staring. Yes, the little girl had some problems to solve.

"Daddy, can we get another puppy?" Amethyst scrambled up the steps and threw herself against Julius, pulling out a handful of his hair she used as a hand hold to pull herself onto the swing with him. She hopped up and down on the swing before he picked her up. "Can we, can we, can we?" she demanded, kicking her feet several times.

"We already have a puppy, Miranda. I thought you liked **Silas**?" Julius asked, attempting to stop his daughter's wiggling. It failed and after a moment she'd hopped down and was running across the porch, Silas at her heels, jumping from different furniture bits onto the rails then off again.

Umeko answered instead of Amethyst. "Puppy 'tacks," she announced before holding out one of her hands, closed into a fist toward Tara. "Present, Mommy."

"Thanks, kid. What is it?" Tara asked, crouching to her daughter's level. She blinked when her daughter's hand opened to reveal a rather fat, green toad that immediately croaked several times. "Umeko, how many times do I have to tell you to leave the frogs alone? Just because Uncle Mort _is_ **a toad** _does not mean_ that **all toads are family members**..."

"Leave the kid alone, Tara. Who cares if she has a fascination with gathering frogs and keeping them in her closet? Neither you nor Angel were even halfway that normal..." Logan stepped onto the porch, cigar hanging from his mouth, teeth chomping into the end of it. He leaned against one of the posts and looked down at his honary, frog-obsessed yet suprisingly normal granddaughter. "What are you naming this one?"

Umeko thought a minute, scrunching her face up then brightened. "Uncle Mort. Can I have a shoebox, Mommy?"

_How did I wind up with the weird kid? Angel and Julius should have gotten the demon but instead they recieved..._ Her thoughts died off when she noticed the energetic Amethyst take off running across the front yard. She scrambled up into a tree and leaped out, yelling something that sounded remotely similar to 'I am Superman'. _Maybe I did get the normal kid._

The little girl never hit the ground thanks to her mother and the use of telekenesis. Instead of hitting the ground, she landed in the midst of Jean's flower bed and killed several different flowers that were in the process of blooming or had already bloomed.

"Umeko, Amethyst, come see what Grandpa Remy has for you," Rogue called from inside before she came outside, dragging Remy and an oversized bag behind her.

"Remy is not _Grandpa_! Remy be too sexy to be de _Grandpa_..."

"Get over it, Gumbo. You weren't even that sexy to begin with."

Umeko and Amethyst reacted by rushing across the porch and to the couple. Their identical outfits made the two look like twins rather than just friends who had been having play dates together for the last two and a third years. Bubblegum pink Converse sneakers covered both girls' feet and were paired with child-sized jeans that had obviously been through hell already. Their shirts had been a gift from Jean, black and with a giant, yellow duck in the center of each one, though the ducks had fangs and little horns.

"I still can't believe we survived another Jean-planned wedding or that Nanaki and Kitty both lived through the wedding," Tara said with a smile. She looked up at Landon's arrival from inside; he'd been on the phone, talking to Apocalypse and attempting to. There'd been an answering machine for the last three hours.

Landon nodded, taking a rather large gulp from the beer bottle he held. "I can't either. I never did figure out why you sent him an invitation; I mean, I get that he was _your kitty_ once upon a time and all, but didn't you figure that **Nanaki **might get _a little upset_ about seeing crazy uncle Vic?" he questioned then held out a full bottle of beer toward Julius.

He took it with a nod then popped the lid off, managing only to get it halfway to his mouth before Angel took it instead. She took a large swallow from the bottle than gave it back after making a face; she settled herself onto the floor, leaning against the swing and his legs.

"Thankies, Grampy." Amethyst brightened and hugged Remy around the neck, kissing him on the cheek and crushing her gift between them.

"Thanks, Roguey." Umeko offered a smile than ran over over to Logan, holding out her prize to him. She hopped up and down several times until he'd taken the gift and turned it over. "Blu'erry Muffin, Grampy Logan," she said as though that explained the blue-haired doll that she held in one arm.

"Mommy, Daddy, lookee what Grampy and Grammy got me! It's St'awberry Shortcake," Amethyst announced, thrusting the vibrant red-headed doll into Julius' face before curling up in Angel's arms. She held the doll, tightly in her arms then looked up at her mom. "Mommy, can we color your hair like St'awberry Shortcake **_again_**?"

"No, honey. That was an _accident_."

Someone honked a horn from down the road then an oversized, black hummer turned into the drive of the mansion, making it's way up the drive and toward them. If the badly done driving could count for anything, they could assume that it was Jax's driving or that Apocalypse had finally figured out what the point of cars were. The first was widely more possible than the latter could ever become.

"I have to go to the store," Logan mumbled then went inside, returning after a moment with a wooden drawer from a desk. He was searching through the drawer, tossing things out and then removed a set of keys. "Time to go to the store. Anyone need anything? I should be back in...a few hours."

"You're not going anywhere, fuzzball. Jax and I have news." Natasha hurried up the steps and onto the porch, stopping to patch Amethyst and Umeko on their heads before continuing across the porch. On the other hand, Jax hadn't even bothered to remove himself from the car and instead still had the radio playing, lowered volume but still playing.

"Good news or bad news? I always do love to hear the misfortune of your generation..." Logan tossed the drawer back into the mansion without ackowledging the splintering of wood that followed it. There was an outraged shriek from inside, _**Jean**_, then the sound of footsteps hurrying down the stairs.

Santiago and David emerged moments later, followedafter a few minutesby a tirading Jean. The teenagers didn't even glance her way but hurried down the steps and toward the garage; or at least that had been their original goal. Santiago stopped short at the crowded porch.

"Oh, jeez, did someone _die_ or is it _another festive occassion_?" Santiago asked, stopping to pat his neice on the head and feign an interest in the doll she held. He talked to her for a moment then straightened and leaned against the porch, watching David who kept casting disinterested glances toward the entire group on the front porch. "We have time for small talk... unless your mom comes out with **_The Book_** then we have to leave.."

_**'The Book'**_ referred to a giant volume handwritten papers that listed every single wrong doing that the two had committed in the last five and a half years. Jean had started the book but allowed others to write in it when the occassions arose, though on some occassions she'd been known to throw the book at them. The amount of papers and photos of different events made the book hurt even more when it made contact with a person's head.

Natasha gave him a withering look. "It's a little of both, you brat. Don't you have _stray animals_ to _torment_ or _illegal_ activities to _engage_ in?" she demanded, turning her attention back toward the others who were watching, expectantly. She blinked then seemed to remember something. "Oh, yeah, I have news."

Amethyst's eyes filled with tears and she tightened her arms around Angel's neck before grabbing Julius' hand in an almost death grip. "You and Daddy are gonna run away to **Canada**. And I'm gonna be one of those orphaned kiddies that are on the tellyvision," she cried, burying her face against Angel's neck and crying. "And all because Daddy called mommy a bitch."

There was silence for a moment while Angel attempted to calm her almost hysterical daughter down while glaring at her husband. "It's nice to see that you pay attention to when Amethyst is listening to us and when she isn't," she scowled, stroking her daughter's hair and kissing her forehead. "It's okay, _sweetie_. Daddy and Aunt Natasha aren't running away to Canada.... How many times have Daddy and I said not to **_repeat_** what you hear at home?"

Amethyst coughed and then frowned at her hands; she tightened her arms around the doll that her grandparents had gotten her. "Bunches and bunches. _'Amy isn't a tape 'corder and best not repeat what Mommy calls Daddy, or Grampy Remy will kill him and Amy mights become an orphan. Mommy 'preciates that Amy behaves and never says the word damn'_," she repeated as a tape recorder again. She beamed at her parents. "How was that, Daddy?"

"Terrific, Miranda. Why don't you and Umeko go play?" Julius smiled, uneasily in Remy, Rogue, and Logan's direction then turned back to his daughter. He gave her a dollar while the others were distracted and moments later, Amethyst had taken off across the yard with Umeko in tow. "Uh...._kids say_ the **damnedest things**, don't they?"

Amethyst Miranda Kanteon was going to have an identity crisis at five at the rate those two were going. Julius referred to her only as Miranda while Angel often called her either Amethyst, Amy, or simply 'no'. There was no telling how many other names the child had adapted tosince Remy tended to forget her name altogether from time to time.

"What was your news, Natasha?" Tara asked, clearing her throat in a way that made everyone fall silent. She adjusted her position against the window sill and took another drink from her glass. "I think we all need a good distraction from.... the excitement of the **dysfunctional family** **moment** that we've been enjoying...."

Natasha beamed. "I'm pregnant."

There was silence then lots of shouting. "You're** WHAT?!**"

"...the doctor said there's a possibility of twins." Jax walked onto the porch and placed his hands on her shoulders. He smirked at the looks of horror that crossed everyone's face except for Angel and Tara whose mouths were hanging open. "You're going to _attract_ unwanted _attention_ with _those expressions_."

"Wait a minute...." Remy stared at them a moment then repeated the group question, sounding more shocked than ever before. "You're **_WHAT?!_**"

"Pregnant, Rems. You've got to know what that is, considering you have two honary grandchildren and I have a feeling that you probably excercised your right to freedom of activities," Natasha replied.

"With **WHAT?!**" Logan's mouth had fallen open and the cigar hit the ground. It rolled to the steps then down, thumping to a stop against the ground

"Twins."

"Oh, God, now there's going to be two more? _ARE YOU PEOPLE COMPLETLY AND UTTERLY INSANE?_" David demanded, glaring at them all then shaking his head. He began to mumble and rant, incoherently.

Natasha shrugged. "No, I'm just pregnant."

"I was sane once _then_ I had kids," Angel commented, earning a nod from the other parents who had children under the age of four.

Jean exited the mansion then, book in hand and an enraged expression on her face. "And just who is pregnant this time? I, personally, think that it's time you people stopped having kids and thought of _normalizing_ the ones you already have!!"

Natasha blinked then placed her hand against her stomache. "I'm pregnant... with twins."

"You're **_WHAT?!_**"


End file.
